Sermon for March 20th (Church Discipline : How?)

“Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.” Last week, I talked to you about the importance of having boundaries even in a faith community—especially in a faith community. I showed you how, in the Bible, God’s discipline is considered a necessary part of life to reflect his love and concern for His children. We were encouraged, through readings by the apostle Paul, to follow God’s call to hold people in our faith community accountable for actions that go against the clear commands of God. Why? Because our actions as a Christians can either lead others TO Christ or lead them AWAY from Christ and our community is called to love both God’s holy name and the well-being of our friends and neighbors.

Today, the question is not “Why?” is there church discipline but instead “How?” How does a church effectively discipline a member? How might you, as an individual, privately confront a Christian friend, family member or acquaintance while at the same time not being tempted to sin yourself. Finally, we need to understand how we might respond ourselves if we are ever disciplined by someone else or even by the church itself.

Jesus explains the first step in how to do church discipline in the gospel of Matthew, chapter 18, “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.” Let’s just stop there. Do you hear the hope in these words? That hope is the point of all this talk about church discipline. It is the good news in all of this. In Ezekiel, God maintains that forgiveness and reconciliation are always His main goal in the life of every person, “Do I take any pleasure in the death of the wicked? Declares the Sovereign Lord. Rather, am I not pleased when they turn from their ways and life?” We should all be pleased, thrilled and overjoyed when a sin is pointed out and then stopped. Jesus said, “If they listen to you, you have won them over” but I’d say that whenever a person stops sinning and repents we ALL win.

Jesus explains what to do when you see or experience another Christian in your community acting sinfully in a public way (especially if it has happened more than one): Confront the person privately and gently. Understand this: if you are more interested in talking ABOUT a person’s sins with others and have no intention of going to them face to face, you are under the same judgment as they are. Church Discipline is always—ALWAYS—about creating peace and harmony again within a community rather than belittling someone, making someone feel guilty, putting them down before others or making oneself look better. Paul points out in Galatians chapter 6, “you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you may also be tempted.” Church discipline is done for the good of the person being confronted, so that they might find themselves back in a good relationship with God. It is not done in order to pit the church against someone or one group against another.

It is a temptation to become prideful, arrogant and judgmental of a person when you are confronting them about a sin so WATCH OUT. If you are out for revenge or to “make an example of them” you’d be better off to leave the discipline to someone else rather than be a divisive influence on your community. In the book of Titus, we read, “Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time. After that have nothing to do with him. You may be sure such a man is warped and sinful; he is self condemned.” My internship supervisor always said that when you point the finger at someone else, there are three fingers pointing back at you. With that in mind, if you care enough about someone else that you feel the need to confront them about a sin, do it gently and with great humility as one broken down sinner speaking to another. Remember this: the only hope either of you have lies in the blood of Jesus on the cross.

It is also important that we are graceful with people and do not start calling everything a sin. Let’s take gossip for instance. This sin can be very destructive in a community and we want to be careful about it. However, I want you all to understand that it is important to be able to confide in other people. We have a need, as human beings, to tell our problems to other caring individuals as well as to seek advice and counsel from other Christians. That’s what friends and family are for. Maybe you’ve been upset with someone for something that they have done to you. Telling you spouse, or pastor, or friend is not gossip as long as you are not trying to tell everyone you see. We must be careful to discern what is a sin and what is not. However, if you are the hearer you have a responsibility and a warning.

You are responsible to hold these feelings, this hurt, this anger, this frustration and this helplessness confidentially. “Carry each other’s burdens,” Saint Paul says, “and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” If someone comes to you hurt and angry with another person, don’t immediately judge them. Listen to them, pray with them, counsel with them if you desire, but explain that, while you will share their burden, you will not give it away to others. Gossip only occurs when people are not willing to carry burdens, but want to spread it around. In that case, gossip becomes a very infectious disease. It’s difficult not to want to take a shared burden and turn it intojuicy gossip that others are interested in. It’s hard not to find yourself burning in anger after hearing one side of a story that seems unjust. But if you are not willing to carry someone’s burden confidentially, tell them so, so that you do not risk falling into sin. Sometimes church discipline means self-discipline.

After confronting a person about a sin one on one, Jesus says to “take one or two others along, so that every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.” What is the purpose of this step? To present the opportunity for reconciliation again! We must always hold out hope for repentance and forgiveness even when all things seem out of control. Having another person in the room holds all accountable for their words and having another person there to mediate can sometimes make all the difference. Once again, don’t do this to gang up on someone. In fact, don’t do it at all if your goal is not reconciliation and restoration.

Jesus says, “If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.” First of all, can you see that any public church discipline wouldn’t happen until more private actions have failed? Remember Saint Paul’s words, “If someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently.”

This is an especially important point to make clear: a faith community is not a police state. Do you understand this? We are sinners, not perfect people. Mistakes will be made, morals compromised and sins committed over and over again both in private and in public by all of us. We aren’t looking for a community of tattle-tales or whistle-blowers who care more about their own self-righteous pride than good relationships with others. Jesus talks about this kind of church in the second chapter of Revelation, the church in Ephesus, “I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked men, that you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not, and have found them false. You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary. Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love.” In our efforts to hold one another accountable, it will be easy to forget to love one another. In our efforts to judge one another, we might forget to forgive and, thus, miss the entire point.

Saint Paul says this another way in the book of 2nd Thessalonians, “If anyone does not obey our instructions in this letter, take special not of him. Do not associate with him, in order that he may feel ashamed. Yet do not regard him as an enemy, but warn him as a brother.” Do not regard each other as enemies, but as brothers and sisters in Christ even if you believe that your brother or sister is sinning against you! Church Discipline must be done out of love, respect and compassion and never out of anger, self-righteousness or revenge. “Watch yourselves or you will be tempted to sin.”

Finally, I must briefly talk about how to deal with church discipline if you are the one disciplined. We all come under God’s judgment for our sins, both known and unknown to others. (Examples of Adam, Cain and Judas)

On the other hand, King David was famously confronted by the prophet Nathan after having an affair with a woman and then killing her husband. After Nathan called him out on his sin, what did the most powerful man in the nation do? You see, David didn’t have to listen. He could’ve gotten angry and killed or imprisoned the prophet for his judgmental words. I mean, David was king! He could do whatever he wanted! But, instead, what did David do? First, he confessed his sin before his friend and admitted his wrongdoing, “Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions.”

King David repented of his sins. He was punished for them by God, just as you and I sometimes bear the consequences of our sins years after we have stopped doing them, but his relationship with God was right again. If you feel God’s conviction on your heart right now for something you have done, or not done, for someone you have hurt or abused, the time has come to repent. Don’t wait for someone to call you to be accountable for it, confess your sins to God right now. He is slow to anger and abounding is steadfast love. And don’t just do it silently saying, “Well, God’s forgiven me!” Confess your sin before the ones you have hurt and do all you can to restore the relationships. Ask for their forgiveness. Turn away from this sin and turn back to life. Jesus came not for the righteous but sinners. Today, you are free to leave the darkness behind you and come into the light of Jesus Christ. We don’t come into church as perfect people, we come in broken and crippled with sin. Listen to the words of the son we are about to hear: (This is where the Healing Begins verse 1) As the song points out, you don’t come into a church already healed, but this place can be where your healing begins. Amen.

Sermon for March 13th (Church Discipline: Why?)

Who were the lights in your life that lit your way to follow Jesus? What do you remember about them? Was it your Father who came to church every single week? Your grandpa who always treated his family with love and respect? When did you learn what being a Christian meant? Was it from a friend or a pastor? No one comes to faith by themselves without someone planting the seed, lighting the path, setting the example or leading the way. That’s why so many of the Bible’s laws are relational—referring to the necessity of good relationships with one another. We are all a part of the same community of faith. Jesus says, “Let your light shine before others, that they may see your good works and praise your Father in heaven.” Your example glorifies God! Your example leads people to Christ.

Unfortunately, since we are always in relationship to one another, we can also have a very negative effect on those we come in contact with. If good deeds shine like a light before others resulting in the praise of God, imagine what dark deeds done out of evil desires create . . . blasphemy of God? The cursing of God? Unbelief?

Most new parents understand quite quickly how much of an impact they have on their children. After 2 or 3 years of hearing Daddy swear at traffic, the same words are used quite freely from the backseat. Why? “Well, Daddy says it!” In the church, the same predicament occurs but more insidiously, because while Daddy can punish his child for her profane outburst, it’s hard to tell who is watching us in the community. How can we know who our actions affect?

Today’s message is about Church Discipline. What is church discipline and what is it’s purpose? Should we ever risk judging another person’s actions as “wrong”? It’s a free country, right? “Judge not, lest ye be judged” so the Bible says. But is that ALL the Bible says? Paul points out in 1st Corinthians chapter 5, “What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside?” Christians are commanded to judge other Christians, or as it’s usually put, we are supposed to hold one another accountable.

Church discipline is a church’s response to some perceived wrong in terms of action or doctrine by one of its members. It is the process by which a church agrees to hold someone, or a group of people, accountable in some way to speak and act according to the set of values they have previously professed to believe in. Church discipline might mean being lovingly confronted by a friend about a sin. Other times, it might mean being asked to step out of leadership, for a time, because of bad behavior. This happens most often when pastors are asked to step down from their positions because of unchristian indiscretions. Church discipline could even mean breaking fellowship with another member because of their continued and persistent sinful behavior despite numerous warnings.

In our church Constitution here at Emmanuel, there is a section describing when discipline is needed, “Denial of the Christian faith as described in this constitution, conduct grossly unbecoming a member of the Church of Christ, or persistent trouble-making in the congregation are sufficient cause for discipline of a member.” Well, great. But why would we ever risk doing it!? Risk hurting someone’s feelings or being called judgmental? Why does it matter? Why is it so important? Shouldn’t we be open and welcoming and forgiving and tolerant of all behaviors? Isn’t this a place for sinners? Yes, it is. A place for sinners. But if we cannot openly hold each other accountable for our sins, then who will want forgiveness for those sins? This is NOT just another sinner’s hangout. This is the forgiveness place.

“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful.” The writer of Hebrews says, “Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” (Hebrews 12:5-11) “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son.” We know we are truly God’s child when He opens our eyes to see when we have done something wrong.

That’s why discipline is important. It can produce righteousness and peace in our lives. When we are given boundaries, they help us feel safe in our surroundings and help us live in harmony with the rest of humanity. Who would want to come to a church if they perceived the great likelihood that they might be publically slandered if they got on the wrong side of the wrong person or family? But if they knew they would be protected from such actions, that there was a moral code, that there were consequences for such unchristian behavior, maybe they’d take the risk.

The Bible says that one day God will judge all of us for what we have done in our lives. But, in the book of Ezekiel, we also read that we all have a very personal responsibility as people of faith to hold one another accountable for acting according to what we believe, “When I say to a wicked man, ‘You will surely die,’ and you do not warn him or speak out to dissuade him from his evil ways in order to save his life, that wicked man will die for his sin, and I will hold you accountable for his blood. But if you do warn the wicked man and he does not turn from his wickedness or from his evil ways, he will die for his sin; but you will have saved yourself.” Yes, God will judge everyone some day, whether we say anything or not, but he promises that he will judge us negatively if we do not say anything to protect others from their harmful choices.

In the book Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend, they write, “In reality setting limites on others is a misnomer. We can’t do that. What we can do is set limits on our own exposure to people who are behaving poorly; we can’t change them or make them behave right. Our model is God. God sets standards, but he lets people be who they are and then separates himself from them when they misbehave, saying in effect, ‘You can be that way if you choose, but you cannot come into my house.’ Heaven is a place for the repentant, and all are welcome. But God limits his exposure to evil, unrepentant people, as should we. Scripture is full of admonitions to separate ourselves from people who act in destructive ways. We are not being unloving. Separating ourselves protects love, because we are taking a stand against things that destroy love.”

Why do we have to set boundaries in the church? To protect love. Have any of you ever lived through abuse or known someone who has? You think, you believe, at first, that you are being loving, tolerant, forgiving by allowing the abuse to continue when, in fact, you begin hating—HATING!—the abuser. Not setting up a boundary doesn’t nourish love, it creates hatred. Without boundaries, limits and discipline put in place, love cannot grow out of such evil soil.

In the fifth chapter of 1st Corinthians there is this odd little phrase that really captures the predicament we are in in our modern churches. Paul explains, “It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that does not occur even among pagans: a man has his father’s wife. And you are so proud! Shouldn’t you rather have been filled with grief and have put out of your fellowship the man who did this?” And you are so proud! Doesn’t that seem like an odd statement?

And yet, aren’t we proud that we are welcoming, tolerant and loving congregation? I am. I want to be a pastor who is seen as loving. It hurts me, I grieve, when I have to point out someone’s sin to them because I feel judgmental, like they won’t like me, like I might hurt their feelings. It seems a lot easier to just accept the wrongdoing and go on with life. But Paul says here that we have got it all backwards. We should be loving enough as a congregation to call people accountable for what they say they believe in.

Now if they don’t confess to be Christians it’s not our job. Maybe you are just here visiting Emmanuel and checking out what this Christian thing is all about. You are not under any obligations to follow some code you know nothing about. The apostle Paul says that God is your judge, but we can’t be. But we are to hold people accountable when they say that they believe in something but then don’t live in accordance with that believe. And if we don’t do this, we shouldn’t be proud, we should be grieving because people might think that we don’t really believe what we say we believe in.

In the notes of my NIV study Bible, there is an excellent explanation of why church discipline is so important. This is what it says, “Calling oneself a Christian while continuing to live an immoral life is reprehensible and degrading, and gives a false testimony to Christ. If the true Christian has intimate association with someone who does this, the non-Christian world may assume that the church approves such immoral, ungodly living and thus the name of Christ would be dishonored.”

This world has many people who do not know the truth of Jesus Christ. They do not believe that he is the way, the truth and the life. They cannot believe that they could be loved by another human being let alone by the Lord of Heaven and Earth. We can’t expect someone to walk through our doors and live according to God’s laws? They may not even believe God exists! But, if you are going to say that you believe in Jesus Christ, you should expect to be held accountable to that confession. If you publically worship at a pagan shrine, you should expect to be questioned about that. If you confess that you believe in the commandments within the Bible, and yet, in public, you are sexually immoral or greedy, or an idolater, or a slanderer, or a drunkard or a swindler, you should expect to be lovingly called away from your sins. Now none of us are perfect people. And a person can only see those sins that are public. Only God knows all the awful desires swimming around in all of our hearts. But if you display these sins for all the world to see, you should expect to be confronted by people who love you and love the God whose name you carry.

During this season of Lent, it is time for all of us, from the youngest to the oldest, to accept responsibility and discipline for our sins. There are no perfect people here, just sinners like you and me, struggling to follow God’s will in an imperfect way. The goal of God’s discipline is ALWAYS repentance, not separation. God wants us all to admit our sins, try to stop doing them and ask forgiveness for what has been done. When we refuse to do this on our own, God might call on the church to intervene until we are ready to repent, but the goal is still ALWAYS repentance and forgiveness. Maybe today, you feel the weight of your sins. Maybe you fear that the church has a good cause to discipline you. Have no fear. When you confess your sins, God is faithful and just and forgives your sins, cleansing you from all unrighteousness. Because Jesus died on the cross for you, your sins are forgiven no matter how many times you have failed before and may fail again. Church discipline is only a tool that God uses to hold us accountable to live as lights for the faith of others. Repentant, forgiven sinners, like you and me, make the best lights, you see, so that others might see how gracious and merciful God can be and give glory to our Father in heaven.