“Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.” Last week, I talked to you about the importance of having boundaries even in a faith community—especially in a faith community. I showed you how, in the Bible, God’s discipline is considered a necessary part of life to reflect his love and concern for His children. We were encouraged, through readings by the apostle Paul, to follow God’s call to hold people in our faith community accountable for actions that go against the clear commands of God. Why? Because our actions as a Christians can either lead others TO Christ or lead them AWAY from Christ and our community is called to love both God’s holy name and the well-being of our friends and neighbors.
Today, the question is not “Why?” is there church discipline but instead “How?” How does a church effectively discipline a member? How might you, as an individual, privately confront a Christian friend, family member or acquaintance while at the same time not being tempted to sin yourself. Finally, we need to understand how we might respond ourselves if we are ever disciplined by someone else or even by the church itself.
Jesus explains the first step in how to do church discipline in the gospel of Matthew, chapter 18, “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.” Let’s just stop there. Do you hear the hope in these words? That hope is the point of all this talk about church discipline. It is the good news in all of this. In Ezekiel, God maintains that forgiveness and reconciliation are always His main goal in the life of every person, “Do I take any pleasure in the death of the wicked? Declares the Sovereign Lord. Rather, am I not pleased when they turn from their ways and life?” We should all be pleased, thrilled and overjoyed when a sin is pointed out and then stopped. Jesus said, “If they listen to you, you have won them over” but I’d say that whenever a person stops sinning and repents we ALL win.
Jesus explains what to do when you see or experience another Christian in your community acting sinfully in a public way (especially if it has happened more than one): Confront the person privately and gently. Understand this: if you are more interested in talking ABOUT a person’s sins with others and have no intention of going to them face to face, you are under the same judgment as they are. Church Discipline is always—ALWAYS—about creating peace and harmony again within a community rather than belittling someone, making someone feel guilty, putting them down before others or making oneself look better. Paul points out in Galatians chapter 6, “you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you may also be tempted.” Church discipline is done for the good of the person being confronted, so that they might find themselves back in a good relationship with God. It is not done in order to pit the church against someone or one group against another.
It is a temptation to become prideful, arrogant and judgmental of a person when you are confronting them about a sin so WATCH OUT. If you are out for revenge or to “make an example of them” you’d be better off to leave the discipline to someone else rather than be a divisive influence on your community. In the book of Titus, we read, “Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time. After that have nothing to do with him. You may be sure such a man is warped and sinful; he is self condemned.” My internship supervisor always said that when you point the finger at someone else, there are three fingers pointing back at you. With that in mind, if you care enough about someone else that you feel the need to confront them about a sin, do it gently and with great humility as one broken down sinner speaking to another. Remember this: the only hope either of you have lies in the blood of Jesus on the cross.
It is also important that we are graceful with people and do not start calling everything a sin. Let’s take gossip for instance. This sin can be very destructive in a community and we want to be careful about it. However, I want you all to understand that it is important to be able to confide in other people. We have a need, as human beings, to tell our problems to other caring individuals as well as to seek advice and counsel from other Christians. That’s what friends and family are for. Maybe you’ve been upset with someone for something that they have done to you. Telling you spouse, or pastor, or friend is not gossip as long as you are not trying to tell everyone you see. We must be careful to discern what is a sin and what is not. However, if you are the hearer you have a responsibility and a warning.
You are responsible to hold these feelings, this hurt, this anger, this frustration and this helplessness confidentially. “Carry each other’s burdens,” Saint Paul says, “and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” If someone comes to you hurt and angry with another person, don’t immediately judge them. Listen to them, pray with them, counsel with them if you desire, but explain that, while you will share their burden, you will not give it away to others. Gossip only occurs when people are not willing to carry burdens, but want to spread it around. In that case, gossip becomes a very infectious disease. It’s difficult not to want to take a shared burden and turn it intojuicy gossip that others are interested in. It’s hard not to find yourself burning in anger after hearing one side of a story that seems unjust. But if you are not willing to carry someone’s burden confidentially, tell them so, so that you do not risk falling into sin. Sometimes church discipline means self-discipline.
After confronting a person about a sin one on one, Jesus says to “take one or two others along, so that every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.” What is the purpose of this step? To present the opportunity for reconciliation again! We must always hold out hope for repentance and forgiveness even when all things seem out of control. Having another person in the room holds all accountable for their words and having another person there to mediate can sometimes make all the difference. Once again, don’t do this to gang up on someone. In fact, don’t do it at all if your goal is not reconciliation and restoration.
Jesus says, “If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.” First of all, can you see that any public church discipline wouldn’t happen until more private actions have failed? Remember Saint Paul’s words, “If someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently.”
This is an especially important point to make clear: a faith community is not a police state. Do you understand this? We are sinners, not perfect people. Mistakes will be made, morals compromised and sins committed over and over again both in private and in public by all of us. We aren’t looking for a community of tattle-tales or whistle-blowers who care more about their own self-righteous pride than good relationships with others. Jesus talks about this kind of church in the second chapter of Revelation, the church in Ephesus, “I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked men, that you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not, and have found them false. You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary. Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love.” In our efforts to hold one another accountable, it will be easy to forget to love one another. In our efforts to judge one another, we might forget to forgive and, thus, miss the entire point.
Saint Paul says this another way in the book of 2nd Thessalonians, “If anyone does not obey our instructions in this letter, take special not of him. Do not associate with him, in order that he may feel ashamed. Yet do not regard him as an enemy, but warn him as a brother.” Do not regard each other as enemies, but as brothers and sisters in Christ even if you believe that your brother or sister is sinning against you! Church Discipline must be done out of love, respect and compassion and never out of anger, self-righteousness or revenge. “Watch yourselves or you will be tempted to sin.”
Finally, I must briefly talk about how to deal with church discipline if you are the one disciplined. We all come under God’s judgment for our sins, both known and unknown to others. (Examples of Adam, Cain and Judas)
On the other hand, King David was famously confronted by the prophet Nathan after having an affair with a woman and then killing her husband. After Nathan called him out on his sin, what did the most powerful man in the nation do? You see, David didn’t have to listen. He could’ve gotten angry and killed or imprisoned the prophet for his judgmental words. I mean, David was king! He could do whatever he wanted! But, instead, what did David do? First, he confessed his sin before his friend and admitted his wrongdoing, “Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions.”
King David repented of his sins. He was punished for them by God, just as you and I sometimes bear the consequences of our sins years after we have stopped doing them, but his relationship with God was right again. If you feel God’s conviction on your heart right now for something you have done, or not done, for someone you have hurt or abused, the time has come to repent. Don’t wait for someone to call you to be accountable for it, confess your sins to God right now. He is slow to anger and abounding is steadfast love. And don’t just do it silently saying, “Well, God’s forgiven me!” Confess your sin before the ones you have hurt and do all you can to restore the relationships. Ask for their forgiveness. Turn away from this sin and turn back to life. Jesus came not for the righteous but sinners. Today, you are free to leave the darkness behind you and come into the light of Jesus Christ. We don’t come into church as perfect people, we come in broken and crippled with sin. Listen to the words of the son we are about to hear: (This is where the Healing Begins verse 1) As the song points out, you don’t come into a church already healed, but this place can be where your healing begins. Amen.
Showing posts with label Matthew 18:15-20. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Matthew 18:15-20. Show all posts
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Sermon for July 18th (Conflict and Forgiveness)
Last week, I presented you all with a vision of what the ministries here at Emmanuel might look like one day. I continue to pray that the Holy Spirit inspires us as we are coming in to be sent out together in mission for Christ. But before we can go and do all the fun stuff, before we go out and do all the hard work, before hearts are changed, before lives are changed and before the world can ever be changed we must ensure that we have a firm foundation upon which to build.
We need to build our ministry upon a firm foundation so that, when God calls upon us as a faith community, to plants churches or to go out on missions or to serve at food kitchens, we can put our time and energy into that work. We don’t want our community falling apart like a sandcastle if issues come up that attempt to bury us under conflict and unforgiveness. When I was working as a chaplain one summer in Minneapolis, the group I was studying with heard this imperative over and over again, “Deal with your issues now so that the people you serve don’t have to deal with them later.” One of the best ways we can serve others as a faith community is by putting into place a good system for dealing with our own conflicts.
And yes, we will have conflicts. Conflict is a part of our life together. If we can accept that fact and handle it appropriately, our community will grow stronger. And Jesus has given us a specific way to deal with conflict in our church so let’s take a look at what he has to say and apply it to our situation here at Emmanuel. Jesus starts off: “If another church member sins against you, go and point out the fault, just between the two of you.” Let’s just stop right there. I call upon you all today to heed the words of the apostle Paul as well, “Do NOT be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds.” I know that this is NOT the way of the world BUT, “If another church member sins against you, go and point out the fault, JUST BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU.”
That means that you DON’T talk to other people about what happened, you talk to the person who hurt you about what happened. The book of James says, “How great a forest is set ablaze by a small fire! And the tongue is a fire . . . full of deadly poison.” When someone says or does something hurtful towards you and you talk negatively to someone else now about what that person did. . . well, you are committing the same sin, don’t you see? And not only that, but the wound that was opened in your heart is now burning from the heat of your anger and stinging from the result of your bitterness. Hatred, anger and gossip will not heal your wounds—in fact they make it worse. Bitterness is the poison that we drink ourselves with the hope of killing someone else. Healing occurs when there is both repentance and forgiveness. “If the member listens to you, you have regained that one.”
“But if you are not listened to, take one or two others along with you, so that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses.” The key word here again is WITH. Take them WITH you. Don’t rant and rave about the injury or attempt to bias them to your side. If your cause is just, the truth will be clear. Calling your best friends to “back you up” is for gang fights, not for a conflict that you wish to settle peacefully.
If you are called to join the conversation, it is not your job to side with one person or the other. Your job is to help them talk and reconcile their differences. If you cannot think of someone to go along with you, I would like to encourage you to call upon me, as your pastor, to help you deal with this conflict. However, when you come to me alone, while I can do my best to counsel you, without the other party there the conflict will not be solved. Bring them WITH you. Putting me or anyone else in the middle of a conflict is neither helpful nor is it very nice.
“If the member continues to refuse to listen, tell the church.” What is the church? Does that mean the town of Fontanelle? Does that mean facebook? Does it mean to tell all your friends during fellowship time or during a ministry team meeting? No. We have called people from our congregation to serve as our representatives and leaders and put them on the council to help us deal with conflict in a healthy way. So, if someone has hurt you and even after speaking privately with them, and then with another person, there is no repentance—if the two of you have met together with others or with me and nothing has changed (perhaps the behavior has even become worse) come together to the council and together we will do our best work to settle the conflict as a community.
If there is still no repentance and no attempt at resolution of the issues—if the one who has hurt you refuses to listen to you and continues the hurtful behavior with no remorse, according to Jesus, as a community we are called to treat this hard-hearted person like a pagan or a tax collector. What does THAT mean?
I’d like to make two statements about this phrase. Both are important. First, pagans and tax collectors were the people Jesus hung out with to the horror of the rest of the Jewish leaders. “I have come not for the healthy but for the sick, not for the righteous but for the unrighteous,” Jesus said. We are under obligation as followers of Jesus to seek out pagans and tax collectors, pray for them and bring them back to Jesus.
However, pagans and tax collectors were also considered to be outside of the faith community, according to Jewish people, until they were restored. In other words, as a church, we should never kick someone out, faith in Jesus is the gate to this community. We cannot judge others as being more sinful that we are ourselves. However, repentance is a necessary part of the Christian life and so, we also must realize that until true repentance has occurred, a person should be disciplined in some way. For example, they may be disallowed from voting and kept from being on ministry teams or in leadership positions until the conflict has been resolved. The most common instance of this is when a pastor sins publically and is stripped of his position. Some pastors who go through this serve other churches, eventually, but not without public repentance taking place.
But have you noticed that Jesus’ system of conflict resolution, even if it works perfectly, is still missing something. Notice that Jesus keeps referring to a person “listening to you”. The most a person can do, when they have hurt you, is to repent. They can sincerely say that they are sorry, do what they can to make amends and attempt to stop the bad behavior. However, is that enough? Notice where Jesus goes next in this discussion. “Peter came and said to Jesus, ‘Lord if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?’ Jesus said to him, ‘Not seven times, but I tell you, seventy-seven times.’” As a congregation, we must not only have a system in place to deal with conflict, but we must have forgiving hearts or else we can never be free to serve anyone else.
I believe that there are some of you listening today who have not truly repented for your actions against others, even when you have sinned against other members of this church. If you truly believe that Jesus Christ died to take away your sins, what are you waiting for? Nobody’s perfect, this is true, but admitting your sins and turning from them is a part of being a Christian. In the gospel of John, Jesus saved a woman, caught in adultery, from being stoned for her sins. But while he did not condemn her, he also did not tolerate her behavior, “Go and sin no more,” He said. Each of you have been given a piece of rope with a knot in it this morning. If there is someone in your life you have hurt, you’ll understand that that knot is no mere symbol—it is the knot in your stomach and in your heart—a knot of guilt. Your relationship with that person, with this community and with God is not as it should be. Repent and believe in the good news. Jesus died for sinners just like you. Trust in his forgiveness. Trust in his mercy. Risk repentance.
I also believe that there are some of you listening today who, even when presented with the opportunity to forgive, have refused to do so, even when those who have hurt you have asked for that forgiveness. Just like the slave in the Bible story today, you have received and accepted the unconditional forgiveness of all of YOUR sins and, yet, somehow, you cannot also forgive? Do you truly believe that you have been hurt more than the Son of God crucified on the cross? Will you continue to hold resentment for those who have hurt you while God gives YOU pardon? Should you not have mercy on those who ask forgiveness just as God has mercy on you when you come to him with remorse? In the story, the slave is handed over to be tortured . . . Jesus said, “So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart.” Perhaps that is why you have the knotted rope today. To remember to forgive because your heavenly Father has forgiven you.
It’s hard. I know that. All of this is hard. It is hard to confront someone when they have already hurt you. It is hard to say, “I’m sorry.” It is especially hard to forgive. We all struggle with these things. But I still see a day, when we are coming in to repent and being sent out to forgive. I want you to take a moment as we end today to think about your relationships with others in this very church. Who has hurt you? When will you go to them and let them know? Who have you hurt? How will you say you are sorry? Who has asked for your forgiveness? When will you forgive them? Perhaps you came in today to hear this promise, “By the authority of Jesus Christ, I declare to you the entire forgiveness of all your sins.” Perhaps you will be sent out today with the same promise on your lips. Amen.
We need to build our ministry upon a firm foundation so that, when God calls upon us as a faith community, to plants churches or to go out on missions or to serve at food kitchens, we can put our time and energy into that work. We don’t want our community falling apart like a sandcastle if issues come up that attempt to bury us under conflict and unforgiveness. When I was working as a chaplain one summer in Minneapolis, the group I was studying with heard this imperative over and over again, “Deal with your issues now so that the people you serve don’t have to deal with them later.” One of the best ways we can serve others as a faith community is by putting into place a good system for dealing with our own conflicts.
And yes, we will have conflicts. Conflict is a part of our life together. If we can accept that fact and handle it appropriately, our community will grow stronger. And Jesus has given us a specific way to deal with conflict in our church so let’s take a look at what he has to say and apply it to our situation here at Emmanuel. Jesus starts off: “If another church member sins against you, go and point out the fault, just between the two of you.” Let’s just stop right there. I call upon you all today to heed the words of the apostle Paul as well, “Do NOT be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds.” I know that this is NOT the way of the world BUT, “If another church member sins against you, go and point out the fault, JUST BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU.”
That means that you DON’T talk to other people about what happened, you talk to the person who hurt you about what happened. The book of James says, “How great a forest is set ablaze by a small fire! And the tongue is a fire . . . full of deadly poison.” When someone says or does something hurtful towards you and you talk negatively to someone else now about what that person did. . . well, you are committing the same sin, don’t you see? And not only that, but the wound that was opened in your heart is now burning from the heat of your anger and stinging from the result of your bitterness. Hatred, anger and gossip will not heal your wounds—in fact they make it worse. Bitterness is the poison that we drink ourselves with the hope of killing someone else. Healing occurs when there is both repentance and forgiveness. “If the member listens to you, you have regained that one.”
“But if you are not listened to, take one or two others along with you, so that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses.” The key word here again is WITH. Take them WITH you. Don’t rant and rave about the injury or attempt to bias them to your side. If your cause is just, the truth will be clear. Calling your best friends to “back you up” is for gang fights, not for a conflict that you wish to settle peacefully.
If you are called to join the conversation, it is not your job to side with one person or the other. Your job is to help them talk and reconcile their differences. If you cannot think of someone to go along with you, I would like to encourage you to call upon me, as your pastor, to help you deal with this conflict. However, when you come to me alone, while I can do my best to counsel you, without the other party there the conflict will not be solved. Bring them WITH you. Putting me or anyone else in the middle of a conflict is neither helpful nor is it very nice.
“If the member continues to refuse to listen, tell the church.” What is the church? Does that mean the town of Fontanelle? Does that mean facebook? Does it mean to tell all your friends during fellowship time or during a ministry team meeting? No. We have called people from our congregation to serve as our representatives and leaders and put them on the council to help us deal with conflict in a healthy way. So, if someone has hurt you and even after speaking privately with them, and then with another person, there is no repentance—if the two of you have met together with others or with me and nothing has changed (perhaps the behavior has even become worse) come together to the council and together we will do our best work to settle the conflict as a community.
If there is still no repentance and no attempt at resolution of the issues—if the one who has hurt you refuses to listen to you and continues the hurtful behavior with no remorse, according to Jesus, as a community we are called to treat this hard-hearted person like a pagan or a tax collector. What does THAT mean?
I’d like to make two statements about this phrase. Both are important. First, pagans and tax collectors were the people Jesus hung out with to the horror of the rest of the Jewish leaders. “I have come not for the healthy but for the sick, not for the righteous but for the unrighteous,” Jesus said. We are under obligation as followers of Jesus to seek out pagans and tax collectors, pray for them and bring them back to Jesus.
However, pagans and tax collectors were also considered to be outside of the faith community, according to Jewish people, until they were restored. In other words, as a church, we should never kick someone out, faith in Jesus is the gate to this community. We cannot judge others as being more sinful that we are ourselves. However, repentance is a necessary part of the Christian life and so, we also must realize that until true repentance has occurred, a person should be disciplined in some way. For example, they may be disallowed from voting and kept from being on ministry teams or in leadership positions until the conflict has been resolved. The most common instance of this is when a pastor sins publically and is stripped of his position. Some pastors who go through this serve other churches, eventually, but not without public repentance taking place.
But have you noticed that Jesus’ system of conflict resolution, even if it works perfectly, is still missing something. Notice that Jesus keeps referring to a person “listening to you”. The most a person can do, when they have hurt you, is to repent. They can sincerely say that they are sorry, do what they can to make amends and attempt to stop the bad behavior. However, is that enough? Notice where Jesus goes next in this discussion. “Peter came and said to Jesus, ‘Lord if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?’ Jesus said to him, ‘Not seven times, but I tell you, seventy-seven times.’” As a congregation, we must not only have a system in place to deal with conflict, but we must have forgiving hearts or else we can never be free to serve anyone else.
I believe that there are some of you listening today who have not truly repented for your actions against others, even when you have sinned against other members of this church. If you truly believe that Jesus Christ died to take away your sins, what are you waiting for? Nobody’s perfect, this is true, but admitting your sins and turning from them is a part of being a Christian. In the gospel of John, Jesus saved a woman, caught in adultery, from being stoned for her sins. But while he did not condemn her, he also did not tolerate her behavior, “Go and sin no more,” He said. Each of you have been given a piece of rope with a knot in it this morning. If there is someone in your life you have hurt, you’ll understand that that knot is no mere symbol—it is the knot in your stomach and in your heart—a knot of guilt. Your relationship with that person, with this community and with God is not as it should be. Repent and believe in the good news. Jesus died for sinners just like you. Trust in his forgiveness. Trust in his mercy. Risk repentance.
I also believe that there are some of you listening today who, even when presented with the opportunity to forgive, have refused to do so, even when those who have hurt you have asked for that forgiveness. Just like the slave in the Bible story today, you have received and accepted the unconditional forgiveness of all of YOUR sins and, yet, somehow, you cannot also forgive? Do you truly believe that you have been hurt more than the Son of God crucified on the cross? Will you continue to hold resentment for those who have hurt you while God gives YOU pardon? Should you not have mercy on those who ask forgiveness just as God has mercy on you when you come to him with remorse? In the story, the slave is handed over to be tortured . . . Jesus said, “So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart.” Perhaps that is why you have the knotted rope today. To remember to forgive because your heavenly Father has forgiven you.
It’s hard. I know that. All of this is hard. It is hard to confront someone when they have already hurt you. It is hard to say, “I’m sorry.” It is especially hard to forgive. We all struggle with these things. But I still see a day, when we are coming in to repent and being sent out to forgive. I want you to take a moment as we end today to think about your relationships with others in this very church. Who has hurt you? When will you go to them and let them know? Who have you hurt? How will you say you are sorry? Who has asked for your forgiveness? When will you forgive them? Perhaps you came in today to hear this promise, “By the authority of Jesus Christ, I declare to you the entire forgiveness of all your sins.” Perhaps you will be sent out today with the same promise on your lips. Amen.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Sermon for September 7th
“If another member of the church sins against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone. If the member listens to you, you have regained that one.” Jesus realizes that the church is made up of sinners. Jesus doesn’t go after the “goody two shoes” in the world. Earlier in Matthew’s gospel he says point blank that he is not after the healthy but the sick, not the righteous but the unrighteous. Well, you get a bunch of sick, unrighteous sinners together week after week and you can expect fireworks sometimes. That is part of living in the same world together. Here at Saint Peters, I can assure you that there will also be fireworks from time to time.
But all this makes sense doesn’t it? If someone hurts you, don’t start telling other people about it first, don’t just tolerate the hurtful behavior, tell the person face to face. Ask for an apology. “But if you are not listened to, take one or two others along with you, so that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses.” Jesus calls us to speak to one another and not about one another. But this still makes sense doesn’t it? What a great model for the church the follow. What a great model for businesses to follow. What a great model for a family to follow. But then, we start getting very uncomfortable. This next part of the gospel lesson doesn’t always make sense.
“If the member still refuses to listen, tell it to the church; and if the offender refuses to listen even to the church, let such a one be to you as a Gentile or a tax collector.” Jesus makes it clear that a faithful community must set boundaries for healthy behavior. If it does not do this, it just becomes another amorphous group of worldly people and not a community of faith at all. Gentiles and tax collectors were considered to be such great sinners that they were not allowed to be a part of the religious community. What does this mean for us?
Martin Luther maintained that Scripture alone sets out boundaries for us. For example: Do not kill, do not commit adultery and do not lie. But what happens if and when someone crosses those boundaries? Forgive them? Yes! Yes! Forgive them. But in the passage today this isn’t the only issue is it. What happens if someone doesn’t care? Doesn’t want forgiveness? Doesn’t believe there are boundaries? Jesus says, “Consider them a Gentile and a tax collector.” If someone isn’t acting like part of a community, then perhaps they shouldn’t be considered part of it. If you are at church and you aren’t looking for forgiveness you are at odds with the message being proclaimed there.
Now, what would you do if you found out your teenager had a friend who was an alcoholic? Perhaps you would set a boundary for your child and disallow them from riding in the same car with that friend. Perhaps you would not allow that child to be a part of your child’s group of friends. The next question is this: how would you treat that forbidden friend from then on? “Treat them as a Gentile and a tax collector” Jesus says. What does that mean?
What would you do if you found out a worshipper at your church was behaving inappropriately in the community? After discussing it with the person, the council, the pastor and the church, there was disagreement, fear and a lot of hurt feelings. If the person was eventually asked to seek another place of worship, how would you deal with them from that point forward? “Treat them as a Gentile and a tax collector” Jesus says. What does that mean exactly?
“Let such a one be to you as a Gentile and tax collector.” Consider this: What kind of people did Jesus hang out with? Sinners and tax collectors. Gentiles and prostitutes. I can’t imagine that the irony of Jesus’ statement was lost on his disciples. Matthew himself was a tax collector when he was called by Jesus.
Jesus maintains that when you’ve brought sin into the light and repentance does not occur, there comes a point where you must set up a boundary between a community and an unhealthy lifestyle. But even as we are called to set healthy boundaries in our lives, we are simultaneously called to forgive people outside these boundaries. We are called to pray unceasingly for them, to love them and bring them the good news of God. Ask forgiveness and God will forgive you. Our Christian community needs healthy boundaries, just like your life does, but we are called, just as Jesus was, not for the healthy, but for the sick, not for the righteous, but for the unrighteous. The gateway back into a community is the same way you came in: Asking for forgiveness.
As you may know, people, especially, I have heard, many men, have trouble leaving their socks lying around on their beds, on the floor, on the lampshade or wherever. As you also may know, when they are asked to pick up their socks, these same men do what they are told, they pick up their socks. The law says, “Don’t leave your socks lying around the house.” And, if a sock is left outside of its drawer, the punishment is an angry spouse, a raised voice and a sock thrown in your face. That’s the law at work.
“I don’t want to have to keep telling you . . . to pick up your socks!” THAT, my friends, is what the law wants. The law doesn’t want to have to tell you. The law doesn’t want to have to punish. Your spouse doesn’t want to have to tell you to pick up your socks! Your spouse wants love. So much love that there are never socks left lying around! The law wants love. Unfortunately, the law can’t keep you from forgetting where the hamper is or missing the laundry basket. The law can’t make you do what it wants.
When Jesus talks about church discipline today in the gospel of Matthew, he sets out the law. There are sins. There are people who have unhealthy behaviors and there must be boundaries. The law has its place. But he also points out that the law is not the goal. Punishment is not the goal. Jesus doesn’t want a church where sinners are kicked out (otherwise called an empty church). He wants each of us to come asking forgiveness just like a Gentile and a tax collector. Not because we deserve forgiveness, but because we need it.
God wants you to love your neighbor so he created the Law. But all the Law can do is tell you to love people, or scare you into loving them. Love your neighbor or else! Crrrrrreeech! It can’t make you love them. “Honey, do you love me?” “Yes. Of course I love you.” “Well, why don’t you ever tell me?” Well, I just did tell you!” “Oh sure, when I asked!” Love wants to be loved without asking. Love wants to be loved without the demands. Love wants to be loved apart from the Law. To be true love, it must be spontaneous. Not coerced or manipulated. The law can never create love. Jesus gives you the love that the law was looking for. How? By loving you first.
In today’s passage there is a word of hope. And do you know where you can find it? In a surprising place: “Let such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.” Yes, right there! The part everyone hates! Why is this such a hopeful verse? Because wherever you find sinners you’ll find Jesus hanging around. If you refuse to admit you are a sinner, you need forgiveness more than ever. You can be sure Jesus is after you. And if you ever find yourself lost, you know for sure Jesus is on his way to find you.
There is a story that ends right before this passage in the gospel of Matthew that I
would like end with today. Maybe it can help us understand what to do with those we consider to be “Gentiles and tax collectors. “If a shepherd has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go in search of the one that went astray? And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine that never went astray. So it is not the will of your Father in heaven that one of these little ones should be lost.”
Boundaries are needed. Even churches have to have rules. The Law requires it. You need protection and your neighbors need to be loved. But the law finds its goal in forgiveness. The law finds its goal in Jesus. The goal of this passage isn’t to throw people out. The goal is to forgive and bring people back to Jesus. Jesus, who was sent for the lost. Jesus who was sent for the Gentiles. Jesus who was sent for the tax collectors. Jesus who was sent for the sinners. Jesus who was sent for you. Amen.
But all this makes sense doesn’t it? If someone hurts you, don’t start telling other people about it first, don’t just tolerate the hurtful behavior, tell the person face to face. Ask for an apology. “But if you are not listened to, take one or two others along with you, so that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses.” Jesus calls us to speak to one another and not about one another. But this still makes sense doesn’t it? What a great model for the church the follow. What a great model for businesses to follow. What a great model for a family to follow. But then, we start getting very uncomfortable. This next part of the gospel lesson doesn’t always make sense.
“If the member still refuses to listen, tell it to the church; and if the offender refuses to listen even to the church, let such a one be to you as a Gentile or a tax collector.” Jesus makes it clear that a faithful community must set boundaries for healthy behavior. If it does not do this, it just becomes another amorphous group of worldly people and not a community of faith at all. Gentiles and tax collectors were considered to be such great sinners that they were not allowed to be a part of the religious community. What does this mean for us?
Martin Luther maintained that Scripture alone sets out boundaries for us. For example: Do not kill, do not commit adultery and do not lie. But what happens if and when someone crosses those boundaries? Forgive them? Yes! Yes! Forgive them. But in the passage today this isn’t the only issue is it. What happens if someone doesn’t care? Doesn’t want forgiveness? Doesn’t believe there are boundaries? Jesus says, “Consider them a Gentile and a tax collector.” If someone isn’t acting like part of a community, then perhaps they shouldn’t be considered part of it. If you are at church and you aren’t looking for forgiveness you are at odds with the message being proclaimed there.
Now, what would you do if you found out your teenager had a friend who was an alcoholic? Perhaps you would set a boundary for your child and disallow them from riding in the same car with that friend. Perhaps you would not allow that child to be a part of your child’s group of friends. The next question is this: how would you treat that forbidden friend from then on? “Treat them as a Gentile and a tax collector” Jesus says. What does that mean?
What would you do if you found out a worshipper at your church was behaving inappropriately in the community? After discussing it with the person, the council, the pastor and the church, there was disagreement, fear and a lot of hurt feelings. If the person was eventually asked to seek another place of worship, how would you deal with them from that point forward? “Treat them as a Gentile and a tax collector” Jesus says. What does that mean exactly?
“Let such a one be to you as a Gentile and tax collector.” Consider this: What kind of people did Jesus hang out with? Sinners and tax collectors. Gentiles and prostitutes. I can’t imagine that the irony of Jesus’ statement was lost on his disciples. Matthew himself was a tax collector when he was called by Jesus.
Jesus maintains that when you’ve brought sin into the light and repentance does not occur, there comes a point where you must set up a boundary between a community and an unhealthy lifestyle. But even as we are called to set healthy boundaries in our lives, we are simultaneously called to forgive people outside these boundaries. We are called to pray unceasingly for them, to love them and bring them the good news of God. Ask forgiveness and God will forgive you. Our Christian community needs healthy boundaries, just like your life does, but we are called, just as Jesus was, not for the healthy, but for the sick, not for the righteous, but for the unrighteous. The gateway back into a community is the same way you came in: Asking for forgiveness.
As you may know, people, especially, I have heard, many men, have trouble leaving their socks lying around on their beds, on the floor, on the lampshade or wherever. As you also may know, when they are asked to pick up their socks, these same men do what they are told, they pick up their socks. The law says, “Don’t leave your socks lying around the house.” And, if a sock is left outside of its drawer, the punishment is an angry spouse, a raised voice and a sock thrown in your face. That’s the law at work.
“I don’t want to have to keep telling you . . . to pick up your socks!” THAT, my friends, is what the law wants. The law doesn’t want to have to tell you. The law doesn’t want to have to punish. Your spouse doesn’t want to have to tell you to pick up your socks! Your spouse wants love. So much love that there are never socks left lying around! The law wants love. Unfortunately, the law can’t keep you from forgetting where the hamper is or missing the laundry basket. The law can’t make you do what it wants.
When Jesus talks about church discipline today in the gospel of Matthew, he sets out the law. There are sins. There are people who have unhealthy behaviors and there must be boundaries. The law has its place. But he also points out that the law is not the goal. Punishment is not the goal. Jesus doesn’t want a church where sinners are kicked out (otherwise called an empty church). He wants each of us to come asking forgiveness just like a Gentile and a tax collector. Not because we deserve forgiveness, but because we need it.
God wants you to love your neighbor so he created the Law. But all the Law can do is tell you to love people, or scare you into loving them. Love your neighbor or else! Crrrrrreeech! It can’t make you love them. “Honey, do you love me?” “Yes. Of course I love you.” “Well, why don’t you ever tell me?” Well, I just did tell you!” “Oh sure, when I asked!” Love wants to be loved without asking. Love wants to be loved without the demands. Love wants to be loved apart from the Law. To be true love, it must be spontaneous. Not coerced or manipulated. The law can never create love. Jesus gives you the love that the law was looking for. How? By loving you first.
In today’s passage there is a word of hope. And do you know where you can find it? In a surprising place: “Let such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.” Yes, right there! The part everyone hates! Why is this such a hopeful verse? Because wherever you find sinners you’ll find Jesus hanging around. If you refuse to admit you are a sinner, you need forgiveness more than ever. You can be sure Jesus is after you. And if you ever find yourself lost, you know for sure Jesus is on his way to find you.
There is a story that ends right before this passage in the gospel of Matthew that I
would like end with today. Maybe it can help us understand what to do with those we consider to be “Gentiles and tax collectors. “If a shepherd has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go in search of the one that went astray? And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine that never went astray. So it is not the will of your Father in heaven that one of these little ones should be lost.”
Boundaries are needed. Even churches have to have rules. The Law requires it. You need protection and your neighbors need to be loved. But the law finds its goal in forgiveness. The law finds its goal in Jesus. The goal of this passage isn’t to throw people out. The goal is to forgive and bring people back to Jesus. Jesus, who was sent for the lost. Jesus who was sent for the Gentiles. Jesus who was sent for the tax collectors. Jesus who was sent for the sinners. Jesus who was sent for you. Amen.
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