I don’t know if you have noticed,
but around here at Emmanuel some really great things have been happening. And many of them revolve around the youth and
families of our church. So, while I
originally had a plan about what to talk about this week for the message, I
decided to change it and focus on this most important part of our church and
our lives: our families. Especially, I
will focus this morning on what God says is important about raising children
and what he encourages us to do about passing our faith along to them. There are three ways he does this in
particular: first, he calls us to faith in him alone, second, we are called to
stay involved with our kids and, finally, we are called to never give up.
The
passage that always come to my mind when talking about families and children
and faith is from Deuteronomy 6. It
begins with what is called, in Hebrew, the Shema
Yisrael, or translated into English, “Hear O Israel”. It is the clearest, most poignant affirmation
of Judaism and its understanding of monotheism, or the belief that there is
only one God (a belief that is shared by Christians): “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart
and with all your soul and with all your strength.”
This
means that, as a person of faith, you are to have one love because you have one
God, and everything that is a part of your life, whether it regards your mind,
your body, your passions or even your spirit ought to be directed toward loving
this one Lord. It’s like tunnel-vision
you see. Or, maybe a better illustration
which be that this singular love of God is like looking through a particular
lens onto the world. Just like you put
in your contacts, or put on your glasses, you put on your love of God. And everything you look at from that point
forward, whether it is your job, or your church or even your kids, has to be
seen through that lens.
After
the Shema, we hear these words,
“These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when
you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind
them on your foreheads. Write them on
the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.”
Does
this seem like a lot to you? Think about
the things that excite you or think about the things in your life that are
important to you. If you could do
anything with your time, what would you choose to do? What do you believe is really important in
your life? Now, think about this, do you
talk about these things with your children?
Do you teach them about these things?
I am going to guess that, yes, if something is important to you in your
life then most of you probably want it to be important to your children as
well.
For
example, in my house, my children learn early on about Nebraska Football. Now, they don’t really understand the game,
or know the players or know the history, but I don’t want to come home one day
and have them cheering for the wrong team just because I didn’t encourage them
properly when they were young. Now,
Nebraska Football isn’t that important to me, when all is said and done, but
still, I’ve spent a great deal of time brainwashing my children into liking it. There are some things that I also feel very
strongly that they should not do. So,
when my children are little, I teach them not to eat yellow snow, or brown snow
for that matter. I care about their
health and I don’t want them chowing down on a dog urine snow cone one day just
because I never said anything. You could
no doubt name me many of your other values, or opinions, or ways of acting that
you think are important. A hard work
ethic. Honesty. Respect of elders. Being well rounded. I bet that you train your children to
appreciate these things as much as you do.
In
Deuteronomy, God says that he expects that you treat Him with at least the same
respect as you would treat the Hawkeyes or the Cyclones, or the
Cornhuskers. If you care about your
child’s education and make sure they get on the bus to school every day, God
says he expects you treat their Christian education with at least as much
respect. If you care about their dental
hygiene enough to demand that they brush their teeth daily, do you also demand
that they pray with you daily and ask forgiveness from God to clean their
hearts and minds from any gunk they may have picked up? If you seek to have your children love your
parents, their grandparents, as much as you love them, God expects you to treat
their relationship with Him with at least as much respect. Because, as
a person of faith, you are to love the Lord your God above all these
other things. With all your heart, with
all your soul and with all your strength.
If you love God that much, how could you NOT talk about Him with your
kids, teach them about His love and bring them to His house? The problem some parents have with teaching
their children faith is that their own personal faith isn’t where it ought to
be. If that’s you, don’t be embarrassed,
find a way to make God number one in your life and that focus will affect your
children’s relationship with God as well.
In
the book of Proverbs, there are many sayings focused on raising children, but
the one that is most often referred to comes in chapter 22, “Start children off
the way they should go, even when they are old they will not turn from
it.” And many families try to do this, I
think—though I believe we’ve got it a little confused. Maybe you bring your children to church on
Sundays for Sunday school and like little hatchlings in a nest, kick them out
into the church to fend for themselves saying, “I’m starting them off in the
way they should go . . . hope they learn whatever they’re supposed to after
they find their room.” Do you think that
this is what God intends? Cause let me
tell you, parenting a godly child is a lot more involved than that.
Starting
off a child in the right direction is important, but God also encourages
parents to walk alongside their child and guide them along the path when they
start veering off course. Proverbs also says,
“Discipline your children, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party
to their death.” I believe that the
church and really most Christians try to start their children in the right way,
but they forget that God calls them to stay involved through discipline.
What
do I mean by discipline? Simply this, if
your one year old, in all his newfound freedom, picks up some of that steaming
brown snow are you going to watch him sit there and eat it or run over and stop
him? What if your child was a teenager,
you know, a smart kid, and yet they still hadn’t seemed to figure this whole
snow thing out yet? Would you say, well,
he’s old enough to make his own decisions now about what kind of snow he wants
to eat! Wouldn’t you be even more
focused on getting her to learn the lesson?
Would you be a willing party to your child eating dog poop?
I would like to
argue that your child’s faith is even more important. In fact, according to scripture, faith is a
matter of life or death. Eternal life or
death at the very least. But let’s be
honest, how many here watching their children choose a path away from God? And while we use excuses like, “They’ve got
to decide for themselves” or “I don’t want to pressure them.” My question is the one Proverbs put forward,
“are you going to be a willing party to their death?” You may not be able to change their mind,
but, as a parent, isn’t it your calling to try and make a difference in their
life for the sake of their eternal life with God?
I
believe that most of us listen to the news, or magazine articles more than to
God when it comes to raising our children.
We want to be their friends, when God calls us to be their parents . .
sometimes unpopular parents. If a coach
tells your child that they have a soccer game at 10:00 on Sunday morning, you
make sure that your child is there—that’s discipline. You are teaching a lesson about
responsibility, teamwork and the value of athletics. If you tell your kids that you’ll go to
church if you wake up early enough after a late Saturday night you have also
taught your children a lesson about faith, community and the value you’ve
placed on God. Discipline is necessary
for parents to raise godly children.
In
Confirmation, Sunday School and GROW, the curriculum we use focuses on giving
parents the tools to not just start their kids off right, but to walk alongside
their child as they grow in faith. Why? Because God tells us that if we don’t, later
on, we’ll be embarrassed, “an undisciplined child disgraces their mother.” It’s our responsibility as parents to care
enough about our children that we don’t willingly become a party to their death. There may come a time when your child becomes
an adult, when they will choose a path your never wanted for them. Do you just say, “Oh well, that’s their
choice.”? Do you say, “Never step foot
in my house again!”? What do we learn
from how God parents us? We always keep
our hearts open to forgive just like the father of the prodigal son and we
share our faith without fear or shame knowing that faith comes through hearing
the word of Christ and we are called to guide our children no matter how old
they get.
How
do you raise godly children? Believe me,
I have 3 of my own and I want to know as much as you do. First, love the Lord with everything that’s
in you. Building your own faith is
extremely important if for no other reason than that you’ll look for guidance
from God rather than Oprah reruns or CNN headlines. Second, do not abandon them as they are
learning their way. Discipline they to
know the different between right and wrong, faith and unbelief. Finally, never give up. The calling of a parent doesn’t depend on the
age of the child. Your kids need you as
much now as when they were two according to God’s Word.
As
a community, we are all called to these things as well. According to the book, “The Family Friendly
church” The church needs to be less concerned about building good churches and
more interested in empowering parents to build good families. We are all called to support the faith of
families, to stay involved with the children we knew growing up and to never
give up even when a child might choose a destructive path. Great things are happening here and I believe
God promises that they can be even better.
Following His guidance, as families and as a community, we can raise
godly children. Amen.
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