Temptations are a part of life. Temptations are a part of every marriage. There are a lot of beautiful people in this world and only one of them, at the most, can be your spouse. There are exciting things to do, wonderful places to go and great things to buy that you may never get to experience in the life you have, with the kids you have, with the partner you have. You may have had dreams about what marriage was supposed to be like that just have never come true or maybe were lost a long time ago. But, believe it or not, those temptations, those unmet expectations even those frustrated dreams can still be a part of a loving, healthy and faithful relationship. A Christian marriage, much like the Christian life in general, isn’t about perfection; it’s about forgiveness. A marriage isn’t built simply on excitement, but on love.
Many married couples are unhappy, aren’t they. But what makes them unhappy? Unmet expectations, feelings of rejection, lack of communication and the list goes on. But what would make these marriages happy? Some people have affairs in order to find happiness. However, there is no fleeting pleasure that can compare to the flood of guilt that follows later that night or the heartbreak that it causes to spouses, children and families. Some married people believe that leaving their marriage will make them happier and make things easier only to find that lonliness and depression, finding a new place to live and a dealing with custody battles aren’t really easy to deal with after all. Divorce is sometimes the best of two bad choices, but it is never easy and it really isn’t a “happy” experience.
You might be surprised to find out what the Bible says will bring happiness. It’s not about having the perfect spouse or the perfect life; instead, as Psalm 32 puts it, “Happy are those whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered.” For those of you who are married, or who were at one time, you know that having a “perfect” spouse would probably be pretty miserable . . . because, not being perfect yourself, you could never keep up with them! What makes a happy marriage is not the sum of the good qualities in both partners. In a happy marriage, each person can accept the bad qualities in one another and continue loving that person for who they are—worts and all.
Today’s topic is faithfulness in a marriage. This morning, I am going to empower those of you who are married with ways to stay faithful to your spouse and I will deal with how a marriage can go forward after there is infidelity.
Nobody starts their marriage with the intention of cheating on their spouse. It is usually not even a matter of intentional infidelity, but a simple issue of “drifting”. Often, an affair will start with an acquaintance with common interests or with a friendship built on “being there” for one another. Then, only as friends of course, dreams are shared, more time is spent together, they laugh together and cry together . . . and everything is so great because you don’t have to bother your spouse with these issues or take up their time. It’s nice to have someone you can share things with at work, or on the internet, who doesn’t already know all your old stories.
Then, months later, you go out for a quick bite to eat one week and invite your friend over that night without remembering to tell your spouse who had to work late. What happens next nobody ever planned, or expected, but it just feels “right” in the moment. You never meant anything to happen, there was never any such destination, but by then it is too late and you’ve drifted to another shore.
As a Christian community, we have to be diligent in helping one another stay faithful to our marriages. If you see a good friendship “drifting” into something more, gently bring up the subject with them and pray for God’s guidance in the matter. This way we can keep our friendships strong AND our marriages stronger.
Kristy and I were engaged after dating for nine months in college . . . but we weren’t married until two and a half years later. At one of my jobs, I got to be friends with another work-study student and she and I would talk for a few hours each week while we folded envelopes. I don’t know when it was that I realized that I missed her at work and thought she was pretty cute. Then the guilt started setting in. I was engaged to the woman of my dreams and yet here I had a crush on some other girl and that really bothered me.
The writer of today’s psalm knows this feeling all too well, “While I kept silence, my body wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand O God was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer.” Would Kristy be really angry with me if I told her about my crush? Would she be jealous? Was God angry with me? Would this affect Kristy’s trust in me? What happened next is very interesting, I think.
You see, I told Kristy about my crush and you know what? She said she forgave me, that everything was fine and she may have even laughed a little bit. And at that very moment, once my deep dark secret was out in the open, the crush was crushed. It was over. I couldn’t figure out what I had seen in that other girl in the first place. Confessing my temptation was all it took for me to realize what a wonderful woman I already had been blessed with in my life.
Psalm 32, “Then I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not hide my iniquity. I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,’ and you forgave the guilt of my sin.’” Of course, it is extremely important not to simply confess all things to the Lord, but to also confess to your spouse or else the temptation stays a secret and the guilt continues. How do you stay faithful in your marriage? Confess your secret sins before they become too much too bear. The faster you bring your secrets out into the open, the less power they will have over your life.
Finally, what are the options after trust has been broken, both emotionally and especially physically? Should infidelity mean immediate divorce or is there, really, any possibility of reconciliation?
In Matthew 19, Jesus answers his disciples’ questions about divorce with a concession that unfaithfulness is indeed grounds for divorce, but his concession does not change his first statement, “It was because you were so hard hearted that Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.” While all of us can understand why unfaithfulness would be reasonable grounds for breaking up a marriage, I want you all to see that it is the ONLY reasonable option. Any marriage would be shaken to its core due to infidelity, but Jesus didn’t mandate that ALL unfaithfulness should end with a divorce.
In fact, the entire book of Hosea portrays God as the kind of God who continues loving and forgiving us even when we are unfaithful. God commands the prophet Hosea to marry a prostitute and even when she leaves him again and again to be unfaithful, God demands that Hosea return to her to bring her back. Would God have the right to cast us all off for our unfaithfulness to Him? For running after other gods and other lifestyles that we find better looking from time to time? Of course he would be justified for doing that! But he is a faithful God who forgives us again and again.
Only through confession and forgiveness can any marriage survive the struggles of this life. We are called to be faithful to one another, just as God is faithful to us. And through all circumstances, we are called to forgive each other just as Christ has forgiven us. Just as the woman in the story with Jesus could show great love because of the great forgiveness shown her, the more possible your forgiveness can be for your spouse when you realize the mercy shown to you through the death of Jesus on the cross.
God is faithful to you no matter what the cost because his relationship with you is not something he can separate himself from. It is my hope and my prayer that God will give you all the strength to be faithful to one another, and to forgive one another in all circumstances, so that your marriages might reflect the love God has shown you. No matter how much your marriage may be struggling right now, trust in God’s power to redeem. Seek help together and confess your secrets to one another. Forgive just as you have been forgiven. God is mighty to save both you and your marriage. He is faithful and He will do it. Amen.
Showing posts with label Psalm 32. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Psalm 32. Show all posts
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Sermon for March 14th
“Happy are they whose transgressions are forgiven, and whose sin is put away! Happy are they to whom the Lord imputes no guilt, and in whose spirit there is no guile!” The thesis of psalm 32 is this: Repentance and forgiveness gives health, salvation and wholeness.
The writer of this psalm begins by explaining his situation: “While I held my tongue, my bones withered away because of my groaning all day long.” In another translation of this verse, it says, “While I kept silence, my body wasted away.” What does it mean to “keep silence”? He has been silent about his sin before God. He either has not confessed his sins and/or he has not repented of them before God. These sins are still affecting his life. The writer describes what his deceitfulness before God—his refusal to admit and turn away from sin—what that did to him: “While I held my tongue, my bones withered away. For your hand was heavy upon me day and night; my strength was dried up as in the heat of summer.”
Many people do not believe that sin bears any consequences. You’ve no doubt met people who seem to do whatever they want, good or bad, and feel exonerated by the fact that they never seem to get in trouble. As a verse from the book of Malachi puts it, “What do we profit by keeping God’s command or by going about as mourners before the Lord of hosts? The arrogant are happy; evildoers not only prosper, but when they put God to the test they escape!”
But the Bible tells us again and again that there is a connection between sin and disease, faith and healing, “Therefore confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, so that you may be healed” the book of James says. The apostle Paul writes, “Examine yourselves, and only then eat of the bread and drink of the cup. For all who eat and drink without discerning the body, eat and drink judgment against themselves. For this reason many of you are weak and ill, and some have died.” When Jesus was approached by a sick woman he said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace, and be healed of your disease.”
Still, one would be hard pressed to always find a cause and effect relationship between one particular sin and a sickness. As Jesus explains in the gospel of Matthew, “God makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous.” In our day and age, Christians seem to get sick as much as non-Christians . . . why?
According to scripture, is all sickness caused by sin? Yes, but what sin or whose sin isn’t always clear. “As Jesus walked along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind? Jesus answered, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned; he was born blind so that God’s works might be revealed in him.” It is tempting to place blame for all sickness and pain in our lives, just like Job’s friends tried to blame Job for all that had happened to him. You see, Job did not become sick because of any particular sin he had committed; however, while he was griping against God for his undeserved suffering, trying to justify himself rather than God, he became prideful. So in the end, it was still only through repentance that Job was healed.
Many people do not believe that sin bears any consequences. Others might admit that there are consequences to sin, but only after death. Jesus will come again to judge the living and the dead, but that does not mean that we still do not reap what we sow right here one Earth as well. Scripture says sin creates sickness. So if you or I are sick and suffering, why do we not look to God and repent in order to see where we may be out of line with God’s will? Why!?
Because we have heard stories. You have no doubt heard stories about how some Christians have refused to go to the doctor and died from an easily treatable sickness. Why does this happen? Because some believe there is no mystery to God’s healing. That they can decide when and where and how it’s going to happen. Imagine the arguments: If sickness is caused by sin and sin alone, going to a doctor won’t help—only prayer will. And if you truly have faith, it’s your own fault if you suffer or die. You just didn’t believe correctly.
You have no doubt heard stories of how people have been terrorized by feelings of guilt and hopelessness when, despite their fervent prayers, prayers of repentance and prayers of faith, they still don’t get better. Francis McNutt, the well known faith healer, tells this story: I remember once when we were praying at a Christian college for the students, one by one, and a lovely young woman came up When we asked what she would like us to pray for, she stammered and couldn’t tell us. Finally she said, ‘They say I have a brain tumor.’ But, ‘Who is they? It’s the doctors.’ She had been prayed for and her well-meaing ministers told her afterwards that the tumor was a ‘lying symptom.’ When she told us this, she burst into tears. A month later, her mother wrote, letting us know that she had died and thanking us for our encouragement. The group who had prayed for her didn’t even come to the hospital; they abandoned her in her hour of greatest need when she was struggling with a feeling that God had abandoned her.
God says to each of us, “My ways are not your ways and my thoughts are not your thoughts.” There are mysteries to sickness and suffering. There are mysteries to faith and healing. We will never fully understand how God works. However, despite the storylines we know all too well, shouldn’t the stories and promises in scripture mean something too? Scripture tells us plainly: sin causes sickness. God commands us to repent of our sins and we will be healed. In the Bible, healing is normal and expected. Perhaps we’ve missed something very important in trying to protect ourselves from abuses and disappointment.
Psalm 32, “While I held my tongue, my bones withered away, because of my groaning all day long. For your hand was heavy upon me day and night; my strength was dried up as in the heat of summer. Then I acknowledged my sin to you, and did not conceal my guilt. I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the Lord.’ Then you forgave me the guilt of my sin.” I have spoken to you these last few weeks about repentance and perhaps you have even considered it once or twice. But, then again, maybe you didn’t think that it was really that necessary because you have more time. You’re doing good enough. You’re healthy! You’re happy! While it may be uncomfortable for you and I to hear this, scripture makes it clear, unconfessed sin hurts you in mind and body and it hurts your relationship to God.
Psalm 32 goes on, “Therefore all the faithful will make their prayers to you in time of trouble; when the great waters overflow, they shall not reach them. You are my hiding-place; you preserve me from trouble; you surround me with shouts of deliverance.” Both of my children have a peculiar habit which you may recognize. Sometimes, when they do something wrong and they are caught, they close their eyes. As if, by closing their eyes and blinding themselves to their sin, they have blinded me and their mother from it as well. And until they open their eyes and deal with the consequences of their actions, they are being affected by their choices and our relationship to them is affected. In the same way, when we sin against God or one another and choose to hide our faces from our mistakes, to keep silent, rather than confess our sins before God we will suffer. “For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and wickedness of those who by their wickedness suppress the truth.”
Again and again in the Bible, physical and mental sickness and disease is said to be casued by sin and healed through repentance, forgiveness, faith and prayer. Are we paying attention to these words? Words from God that might give us faith? Or are we simply listening to the stories that cause us to doubt. What might change in your life if you took God at his word?
The psalmist says that we must find a different hiding place. We must stand, naked and exposed in the light of God, and say, “You, Lord, are my hiding place.” You see, most of the time, when my children finally open their eyes and admit that they have done something wrong, after a few tears they jump into my arms and bury their faces in my chest or armpit. We must hide in the light of God and not in the darkness of our lives.
Listen, there are many suffering today including many of our loved ones. There are so many sicknesses and diseases out there that doctors can treat but not cure. And yet, even though we know we are sinners and even though we hear this clear sin/sickness connection in the Bible, we are so much more likely to want to blame “luck” or say that “God sent this disease so it must be good for me” rather than to look at ourselves and ask the question, “Where is there still sin in my life?” I believe that God blesses us with doctors and nurses and we would be silly to forego medical treatment for ourselves or those we love when we are sick. However, aren’t we being just as silly, if not arrogant, to believe that our sicknesses and diseases have nothing to do with our sin?
As we focus on repentance this Lent, do not forget that Jesus Christ died for the ungodly on the cross. He did not come for the healthy but for the sick! He did not come for the righteous but for the unrighteous! So if you are sick and unrighteous, Jesus Christ is for you. Repent and trust in the Lord who is gracious and merciful. If you are weak under the weight of God’s heavy hands, trust in the Lord and in his mercy to redeem you. Do not simply trust in your ability to keep the law and refrain from sin, for the law says “Do this!” and it is never done! The gospel says “Believe in Jesus Christ and the power of his cross and his blood” and everything is done already. Salvation, healing and wholeness. Repent and believe in the good news! Amen.
The writer of this psalm begins by explaining his situation: “While I held my tongue, my bones withered away because of my groaning all day long.” In another translation of this verse, it says, “While I kept silence, my body wasted away.” What does it mean to “keep silence”? He has been silent about his sin before God. He either has not confessed his sins and/or he has not repented of them before God. These sins are still affecting his life. The writer describes what his deceitfulness before God—his refusal to admit and turn away from sin—what that did to him: “While I held my tongue, my bones withered away. For your hand was heavy upon me day and night; my strength was dried up as in the heat of summer.”
Many people do not believe that sin bears any consequences. You’ve no doubt met people who seem to do whatever they want, good or bad, and feel exonerated by the fact that they never seem to get in trouble. As a verse from the book of Malachi puts it, “What do we profit by keeping God’s command or by going about as mourners before the Lord of hosts? The arrogant are happy; evildoers not only prosper, but when they put God to the test they escape!”
But the Bible tells us again and again that there is a connection between sin and disease, faith and healing, “Therefore confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, so that you may be healed” the book of James says. The apostle Paul writes, “Examine yourselves, and only then eat of the bread and drink of the cup. For all who eat and drink without discerning the body, eat and drink judgment against themselves. For this reason many of you are weak and ill, and some have died.” When Jesus was approached by a sick woman he said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace, and be healed of your disease.”
Still, one would be hard pressed to always find a cause and effect relationship between one particular sin and a sickness. As Jesus explains in the gospel of Matthew, “God makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous.” In our day and age, Christians seem to get sick as much as non-Christians . . . why?
According to scripture, is all sickness caused by sin? Yes, but what sin or whose sin isn’t always clear. “As Jesus walked along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind? Jesus answered, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned; he was born blind so that God’s works might be revealed in him.” It is tempting to place blame for all sickness and pain in our lives, just like Job’s friends tried to blame Job for all that had happened to him. You see, Job did not become sick because of any particular sin he had committed; however, while he was griping against God for his undeserved suffering, trying to justify himself rather than God, he became prideful. So in the end, it was still only through repentance that Job was healed.
Many people do not believe that sin bears any consequences. Others might admit that there are consequences to sin, but only after death. Jesus will come again to judge the living and the dead, but that does not mean that we still do not reap what we sow right here one Earth as well. Scripture says sin creates sickness. So if you or I are sick and suffering, why do we not look to God and repent in order to see where we may be out of line with God’s will? Why!?
Because we have heard stories. You have no doubt heard stories about how some Christians have refused to go to the doctor and died from an easily treatable sickness. Why does this happen? Because some believe there is no mystery to God’s healing. That they can decide when and where and how it’s going to happen. Imagine the arguments: If sickness is caused by sin and sin alone, going to a doctor won’t help—only prayer will. And if you truly have faith, it’s your own fault if you suffer or die. You just didn’t believe correctly.
You have no doubt heard stories of how people have been terrorized by feelings of guilt and hopelessness when, despite their fervent prayers, prayers of repentance and prayers of faith, they still don’t get better. Francis McNutt, the well known faith healer, tells this story: I remember once when we were praying at a Christian college for the students, one by one, and a lovely young woman came up When we asked what she would like us to pray for, she stammered and couldn’t tell us. Finally she said, ‘They say I have a brain tumor.’ But, ‘Who is they? It’s the doctors.’ She had been prayed for and her well-meaing ministers told her afterwards that the tumor was a ‘lying symptom.’ When she told us this, she burst into tears. A month later, her mother wrote, letting us know that she had died and thanking us for our encouragement. The group who had prayed for her didn’t even come to the hospital; they abandoned her in her hour of greatest need when she was struggling with a feeling that God had abandoned her.
God says to each of us, “My ways are not your ways and my thoughts are not your thoughts.” There are mysteries to sickness and suffering. There are mysteries to faith and healing. We will never fully understand how God works. However, despite the storylines we know all too well, shouldn’t the stories and promises in scripture mean something too? Scripture tells us plainly: sin causes sickness. God commands us to repent of our sins and we will be healed. In the Bible, healing is normal and expected. Perhaps we’ve missed something very important in trying to protect ourselves from abuses and disappointment.
Psalm 32, “While I held my tongue, my bones withered away, because of my groaning all day long. For your hand was heavy upon me day and night; my strength was dried up as in the heat of summer. Then I acknowledged my sin to you, and did not conceal my guilt. I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the Lord.’ Then you forgave me the guilt of my sin.” I have spoken to you these last few weeks about repentance and perhaps you have even considered it once or twice. But, then again, maybe you didn’t think that it was really that necessary because you have more time. You’re doing good enough. You’re healthy! You’re happy! While it may be uncomfortable for you and I to hear this, scripture makes it clear, unconfessed sin hurts you in mind and body and it hurts your relationship to God.
Psalm 32 goes on, “Therefore all the faithful will make their prayers to you in time of trouble; when the great waters overflow, they shall not reach them. You are my hiding-place; you preserve me from trouble; you surround me with shouts of deliverance.” Both of my children have a peculiar habit which you may recognize. Sometimes, when they do something wrong and they are caught, they close their eyes. As if, by closing their eyes and blinding themselves to their sin, they have blinded me and their mother from it as well. And until they open their eyes and deal with the consequences of their actions, they are being affected by their choices and our relationship to them is affected. In the same way, when we sin against God or one another and choose to hide our faces from our mistakes, to keep silent, rather than confess our sins before God we will suffer. “For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and wickedness of those who by their wickedness suppress the truth.”
Again and again in the Bible, physical and mental sickness and disease is said to be casued by sin and healed through repentance, forgiveness, faith and prayer. Are we paying attention to these words? Words from God that might give us faith? Or are we simply listening to the stories that cause us to doubt. What might change in your life if you took God at his word?
The psalmist says that we must find a different hiding place. We must stand, naked and exposed in the light of God, and say, “You, Lord, are my hiding place.” You see, most of the time, when my children finally open their eyes and admit that they have done something wrong, after a few tears they jump into my arms and bury their faces in my chest or armpit. We must hide in the light of God and not in the darkness of our lives.
Listen, there are many suffering today including many of our loved ones. There are so many sicknesses and diseases out there that doctors can treat but not cure. And yet, even though we know we are sinners and even though we hear this clear sin/sickness connection in the Bible, we are so much more likely to want to blame “luck” or say that “God sent this disease so it must be good for me” rather than to look at ourselves and ask the question, “Where is there still sin in my life?” I believe that God blesses us with doctors and nurses and we would be silly to forego medical treatment for ourselves or those we love when we are sick. However, aren’t we being just as silly, if not arrogant, to believe that our sicknesses and diseases have nothing to do with our sin?
As we focus on repentance this Lent, do not forget that Jesus Christ died for the ungodly on the cross. He did not come for the healthy but for the sick! He did not come for the righteous but for the unrighteous! So if you are sick and unrighteous, Jesus Christ is for you. Repent and trust in the Lord who is gracious and merciful. If you are weak under the weight of God’s heavy hands, trust in the Lord and in his mercy to redeem you. Do not simply trust in your ability to keep the law and refrain from sin, for the law says “Do this!” and it is never done! The gospel says “Believe in Jesus Christ and the power of his cross and his blood” and everything is done already. Salvation, healing and wholeness. Repent and believe in the good news! Amen.
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