Sermon for June 13th (Faithfulness)

Temptations are a part of life. Temptations are a part of every marriage. There are a lot of beautiful people in this world and only one of them, at the most, can be your spouse. There are exciting things to do, wonderful places to go and great things to buy that you may never get to experience in the life you have, with the kids you have, with the partner you have. You may have had dreams about what marriage was supposed to be like that just have never come true or maybe were lost a long time ago. But, believe it or not, those temptations, those unmet expectations even those frustrated dreams can still be a part of a loving, healthy and faithful relationship. A Christian marriage, much like the Christian life in general, isn’t about perfection; it’s about forgiveness. A marriage isn’t built simply on excitement, but on love.

Many married couples are unhappy, aren’t they. But what makes them unhappy? Unmet expectations, feelings of rejection, lack of communication and the list goes on. But what would make these marriages happy? Some people have affairs in order to find happiness. However, there is no fleeting pleasure that can compare to the flood of guilt that follows later that night or the heartbreak that it causes to spouses, children and families. Some married people believe that leaving their marriage will make them happier and make things easier only to find that lonliness and depression, finding a new place to live and a dealing with custody battles aren’t really easy to deal with after all. Divorce is sometimes the best of two bad choices, but it is never easy and it really isn’t a “happy” experience.

You might be surprised to find out what the Bible says will bring happiness. It’s not about having the perfect spouse or the perfect life; instead, as Psalm 32 puts it, “Happy are those whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered.” For those of you who are married, or who were at one time, you know that having a “perfect” spouse would probably be pretty miserable . . . because, not being perfect yourself, you could never keep up with them! What makes a happy marriage is not the sum of the good qualities in both partners. In a happy marriage, each person can accept the bad qualities in one another and continue loving that person for who they are—worts and all.

Today’s topic is faithfulness in a marriage. This morning, I am going to empower those of you who are married with ways to stay faithful to your spouse and I will deal with how a marriage can go forward after there is infidelity.

Nobody starts their marriage with the intention of cheating on their spouse. It is usually not even a matter of intentional infidelity, but a simple issue of “drifting”. Often, an affair will start with an acquaintance with common interests or with a friendship built on “being there” for one another. Then, only as friends of course, dreams are shared, more time is spent together, they laugh together and cry together . . . and everything is so great because you don’t have to bother your spouse with these issues or take up their time. It’s nice to have someone you can share things with at work, or on the internet, who doesn’t already know all your old stories.

Then, months later, you go out for a quick bite to eat one week and invite your friend over that night without remembering to tell your spouse who had to work late. What happens next nobody ever planned, or expected, but it just feels “right” in the moment. You never meant anything to happen, there was never any such destination, but by then it is too late and you’ve drifted to another shore.

As a Christian community, we have to be diligent in helping one another stay faithful to our marriages. If you see a good friendship “drifting” into something more, gently bring up the subject with them and pray for God’s guidance in the matter. This way we can keep our friendships strong AND our marriages stronger.

Kristy and I were engaged after dating for nine months in college . . . but we weren’t married until two and a half years later. At one of my jobs, I got to be friends with another work-study student and she and I would talk for a few hours each week while we folded envelopes. I don’t know when it was that I realized that I missed her at work and thought she was pretty cute. Then the guilt started setting in. I was engaged to the woman of my dreams and yet here I had a crush on some other girl and that really bothered me.

The writer of today’s psalm knows this feeling all too well, “While I kept silence, my body wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand O God was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer.” Would Kristy be really angry with me if I told her about my crush? Would she be jealous? Was God angry with me? Would this affect Kristy’s trust in me? What happened next is very interesting, I think.

You see, I told Kristy about my crush and you know what? She said she forgave me, that everything was fine and she may have even laughed a little bit. And at that very moment, once my deep dark secret was out in the open, the crush was crushed. It was over. I couldn’t figure out what I had seen in that other girl in the first place. Confessing my temptation was all it took for me to realize what a wonderful woman I already had been blessed with in my life.

Psalm 32, “Then I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not hide my iniquity. I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,’ and you forgave the guilt of my sin.’” Of course, it is extremely important not to simply confess all things to the Lord, but to also confess to your spouse or else the temptation stays a secret and the guilt continues. How do you stay faithful in your marriage? Confess your secret sins before they become too much too bear. The faster you bring your secrets out into the open, the less power they will have over your life.

Finally, what are the options after trust has been broken, both emotionally and especially physically? Should infidelity mean immediate divorce or is there, really, any possibility of reconciliation?

In Matthew 19, Jesus answers his disciples’ questions about divorce with a concession that unfaithfulness is indeed grounds for divorce, but his concession does not change his first statement, “It was because you were so hard hearted that Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.” While all of us can understand why unfaithfulness would be reasonable grounds for breaking up a marriage, I want you all to see that it is the ONLY reasonable option. Any marriage would be shaken to its core due to infidelity, but Jesus didn’t mandate that ALL unfaithfulness should end with a divorce.

In fact, the entire book of Hosea portrays God as the kind of God who continues loving and forgiving us even when we are unfaithful. God commands the prophet Hosea to marry a prostitute and even when she leaves him again and again to be unfaithful, God demands that Hosea return to her to bring her back. Would God have the right to cast us all off for our unfaithfulness to Him? For running after other gods and other lifestyles that we find better looking from time to time? Of course he would be justified for doing that! But he is a faithful God who forgives us again and again.

Only through confession and forgiveness can any marriage survive the struggles of this life. We are called to be faithful to one another, just as God is faithful to us. And through all circumstances, we are called to forgive each other just as Christ has forgiven us. Just as the woman in the story with Jesus could show great love because of the great forgiveness shown her, the more possible your forgiveness can be for your spouse when you realize the mercy shown to you through the death of Jesus on the cross.

God is faithful to you no matter what the cost because his relationship with you is not something he can separate himself from. It is my hope and my prayer that God will give you all the strength to be faithful to one another, and to forgive one another in all circumstances, so that your marriages might reflect the love God has shown you. No matter how much your marriage may be struggling right now, trust in God’s power to redeem. Seek help together and confess your secrets to one another. Forgive just as you have been forgiven. God is mighty to save both you and your marriage. He is faithful and He will do it. Amen.

Sermon for February 21st

Today’s message is going to be about temptation, especially what we can and can’t do about the temptations in our lives. Now usually, during Lent, we spend a lot of time focusing on the stuff that comes after temptation . . . repentance. But God calls us not to enter into temptation in the first place! So, let’s take Him at His word and figure out how . . . how to deal with temptation in our lives.

The main text that we will be focusing on today is from the gospel of Luke, chapter 4: the story where Satan tempts Jesus three times in the wilderness. When you heard that story again this morning, did you question how you would have dealt with those same temptations? Would you have been strong enough to say no to the bread after 40 days of not eating? Would you have had enough willpower to say, “No” when offered the power to control the world? Jesus seems so much more powerful than we are to deal with temptation. But my hope is that, after today’s message, you will understand that dealing with temptation isn’t about you being stronger or more powerful than the sin in your life. Instead, victory over temptation will only take place for you when you admit that you are powerless, weak, incompetent and unqualified to deal with it. You cannot defeat the Satanic seductions of sin in your life on your own.

After Jesus was baptized and was filled with the Holy Spirit, he was led by the Spirit into the wilderness, where for forty days he was tempted by the devil. He ate nothing at all during those days, and when they were over, he was famished. The devil said to him, “If you are the Son of God, command this stone to become a loaf of bread.” Jesus answered him, “It is written, ‘One does not live by bread alone.’”

A couple of things to note in this passage. First, since we are reading the Bible today in English, we miss an interesting point that’s obvious in the original language of Greek when Satan makes the conditional statement, “If you are the Son of God.” There are three types of conditional clauses in Greek: one of fact, one of uncertainty, or one contrary to fact. Fact, uncertainty, or contrary to fact. This conditional clause, spoken by the devil, is one of fact. A better way to translate what is really being said is to read it like this, “If you are the Son of God (and of course you are!) command this stone to become a loaf of bread.”

Why is this important? Because Satan isn’t asking for Jesus to prove anything. Satan already knows the truth just like the other demons and evil spirits always know who Jesus really is even when the crowds or the disciples are clueless. Jesus isn’t being tempted to prove himself, but to use his power. And even more importantly, to show his power to benefit himself. There will be other times when Jesus is called upon to feed others with a few fish and several loaves of bread and he certainly uses his power to do that. But Jesus came to serve others, not to be served or to serve himself.

A second thing to notice in this passage is that,when Jesus responds to the Devil by saying, “One does not live by bread alone” he is referring to a passage in Deuteronomy where Moses explains that the bread from heaven, the manna, that the Israelites ate in their forty years in the wilderness wasn’t simply to feed their stomachs but to feed their faith. He wanted them understand that they were being sustained by God alone. Moses wanted them to remember that they needed to rely on God even when they were tempted to pride and self-sufficiency once they were out of the wilderness and in the Promised Land. The temptation for Jesus isn’t just that he use his power as the Son of God, but that he use his power rather than trusting in God’s power to sustain him.

In the second temptation, Jesus is offered power over all the kingdoms of the world if only he will only bow down to Satan. Jesus responds, “Worship the Lord your God and serve only him.” First, Jesus was asked to use his own power, but now Satan offers him other power. However, once again, Jesus trusts not in power, but in his weakness as a servant, “Worship the Lord your God, and serve only him.” When the Israelites were brought to the promised land, Moses warned them that they would become prosperous and feel very strong and powerful and at that very moment, at the height of their power, they would be most at risk to forget where their strength truly came from—they were not to worship themselves, or any other gods of this world, but they were to fear God and worship Him alone. When we feel powerless against temptation, isn’t it easy to think that we’ll find the strength to endure in the things of this world? So we try to escape depression with drugs and just exchange one temptation for another. And, in the middle of this shell game, we forget that God is our first love.

In the third temptation, the devil places Jesus on the pinnacle of the temple and says, “If you are the Son of God (and again, of course you are!) throw yourself down from here for it is written, ‘He will command his angels concerning you, to protect you,’ and ‘On their hands they will bear you up, so that you will not dash your foot against a stone.’ Jesus answered him, “It is said, ‘Do not put the Lord your God to the test.’”

Jesus now refers to a story from Exodus when the Israelites tested God and demanded water in the wilderness. They questioned God’s continued presence by asking, “Is the Lord not among us?” They wanted God to prove his love for them by showing off His power. Now that Satan has tempted Jesus to use his own power and to attain new powers, Jesus is now being tempted to demand that God show His power. But for the third time, Jesus does not yield to the persuasion of power and, in his weakness, simply trusts God without any miraculous signs.

As I explained at the beginning of today’s sermon, my hope is that, after today, you will understand that fighting temptation for you, just as it was for Jesus, isn’t about you being stronger or more powerful than sin, death and Devil. Instead, victory over temptation will only take place when you admit that you are powerless, weak, incompetent and unqualified to deal with these seductions. Because you are unable to defeat sin by yourself.

But there is a difference between how Jesus experienced temptation and how we experience temptation. Jesus was alive and on his way to death while we are already dead. As Paul puts it, “For as many of you who were baptized into Christ were baptized into his death.” Or as he states it in Collosians, “You are dead and your life in hidden with Christ in God.” In other words, Jesus was alive and on his way to death while we, two thousand years later, have already died. We have already lost the battle to temptation, the battle that we hear Jesus is fighting in today’s reading. We have already died. Sin has already defeated us through the Law. When it comes to our own efforts, we are judged by the Law as condemned sinners. When you come up against temptation in your life, this is probably the most important fact to realize: you have already lost—you are dead.

Now, of course, that can seem quite upsetting even depressing. How can God expect you to fight against temptation when you’ve already lost before you’ve even begun? But believe it or not, it is not hopeless. Well, for you it is, but not for Jesus Christ your Savior. When you or I are tempted, we look for more power. The first place we tend to look for help is in ourselves. We look to our willpower or our previous experiences. Then we look elsewhere, maybe to a book or self-help expert to back us up. But, eventually, we succumb to the pressure of sin once more and find ourselves tasting the forbidden fruit whatever that fruit may be. Trusting in yourself to fight temptation will always be pointless because you have already lost and died, but there is one who you can look to that has already defeated sin, death and the devil as well as all the many and various temptations this life has to bring.

In Jesus Christ, the battle that appears to be hopeless is, actually, a cakewalk, by faith alone that is. In fact, according to the apostle Paul, now that you are out of the equation, dead I mean, now you actually have some hope! “Shall we continue in sin in order that grace may abound?” He asks? Impossible, he says! “By no means! How can we who died to sin go on living in it?” It’s not up to you anymore and God has already won the battle for you. “You are dead and your life is hidden with Christ in God.”

In place of power, there is trust. God has given us a different technique for dealing with temptation and that is to trust in one who has the power over life and death itself. Not by testing God to prove or show us his power, but by trusting him unconditionally. The Devil misinterpreted Psalm 91 in today’s dialogue with Jesus. That psalm is not about miracles, but about a relationship of trust, “You who dwell in the shelter of the Most High, who abide in the shadow of the Almighty—you will say to the Lord, ‘My refuge and my stronghold, my God in whom I put my trust.’ The power of temptation is that we put our trust in the wrong place. We trust that by lying on a test we will get into college or by cheating on our spouse we will find happiness or that by going to a psychic we won’t fear the future any longer. We put our trust in the power of these temptations to see us through rather than trusting in God who alone has the power over all things.

What does Jesus do to fight temptation? Nothing really. He simply trusts in God, his Father, and in his Word alone to do the fighting for him and to contend with those that contend with him. What does God expect you to do to fight temptation? Nothing. Simply put trust in the right place—in God alone. Not in yourself, not in others or other things, not even in God’s miracles. Don’t trust in power, but in God’s unconditional promise: “I will deliver those who cling to me; I will uphold them, because they know my name. They will call on me, and I will answer them; I will be with them in trouble; I will rescue them and honor them. With long life will I satisfy them, and show them my salvation.” Amen.