Sermon for June 27th (A Wife's Respect)

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as you are to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the church, the body of which he is the Savior. Just as the church is subject to Christ, so also wives ought to be, in everything, to their husbands.” Last week, I talked to you about how God instituted marriage and how important it is that both the husband and the wife fulfill their individual calls in a marriage. An essential part of that equation is a husband’s love, but the other essential part is a wife’s respect, or as Ephesians calls it most often her submission.

I’ll tell you the truth, it’s about all I can do to say that word, “submission” without cringing. Perhaps it is just as difficult for you to hear it. I think that the younger you are, perhaps the harder it is, because it is such a foreign concept in our culture. Why? Because you’ve heard stories. You’ve heard stories about women in the past, but not that very long ago, who were abused by the men in their lives and their husbands. Women who were beaten into submission, you might say. You’ve heard stories about women, perhaps from other countries, who do not have the same rights as their husbands because they are supposed to be quiet and “submissive” in that culture. Some women in this very house have no doubt experienced men who demanded too much of them, demanded their complete obedience—or else!—men who used the Bible as justification for never listening to their wives. I want to be clear right now: that kind of submission is not what God has in mind for a wife.

But how do we know? Because that is not a biblical model of submission or marriage. In Genesis, God looked for a partner for the human being he had created and that partner, that helper, was only found in the woman. If God had simply been looking for a creature to “submit” to the man, the horse may have sufficed. Or the donkey. Or the dog. Fetch me my slippers! Sit! Speak! Stay! That’s not submission, that’s obedience. And, in the Bible, neither the husband nor the wife is told to be “obedient” to one another. They are called to love and respect one another.

In the book “The Power of a Praying Husband,” the author Stormie Omartian explains the word submission in the following way, “Submit is a verb. Submitting is a voluntary action. That means it is something we ourselves do. It’s not something we make someone else do. Just as we can’t force another person to love us, we can’t force someone to submit to us either. Of course we can make that person do what we want. But then that’s not true submission. Submission is a choice we make.”

And there are reasons why some of you women or wives would not want to make that choice isn’t there. For example, if you do not trust your husband to act with your best interests at heart, you will not want to submit to his decisions. But then again, God would never ask you to do that. A wife’s respect for her husband is only one half of the equation. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loves the church. In other words, husbands, you have no right to expect your wife to listen to you, to follow you or to respect you if you do not truly show her love. But wives, if you know that your husband truly loves you and respects you, what is it that keeps you from honoring and affirming your husband in the household? What keeps you from trusting his leadership?

Last week I said that men need someone to love. Men want to have someone to protect, to cherish and to adore. In the same way, women need someone they can be vulnerable with, someone they can respect. You might even go as far as to say that a wife wants her husband to be someone they could feel comfortable choosing to submit to. Once again, just to be clear, I am not saying that women want to be damsel’s in distress. What I am saying is this: in order to find meaning and fulfillment in a marriage, it is essential that a wife can feel vulnerable with her husband and trust her husband not to take advantage of that vulnerability. Submission does not mean being someone else’s doormat, it means trusting someone to not step on you even when you are at your weakest.

There is no doubt in my mind that women are just as able to do what a men can do. How many women, how many of you, work a full time job outside of the home and then come home to be a full time mother and full time housekeeper? How many single moms have raised a family all on their own? Understand that the concept of submission in a marriage has nothing to do with abilities. However, for those of you who are married women here this morning, just because you CAN do anything—do you really WANT to do it all? Don’t you feel at times trapped by all the demands placed on you at work and at home? Don’t you sometimes wish you could share the workload with someone you could trust? Someone who loves you andyou’re your best interests at heart? Don’t you ever wish that you could let someone else make the decisions? Throughout the Bible, God calls husbands to be leaders in their households instead of simply taking a back seat.

Wives, if you’ve ever felt overwhelmed and frazzled by the demands of work and home, you may realize what joy there would be if you could respect your husband enough to hand him the reins not because you couldn’t lead, but because you wanted him to. Imagine what might happen in your marriage if, instead of making all the decisions, you took just one decision that you normally make and said to your husband, “You decide. I trust your judgment. I’ll follow your lead” If you had a husband you knew loved you, giving up that control would not be scary, it would be a relief.

A wife’s respect of her husband does not mean that she must obey every command he gives because, unlike God, men are fallible. Husbands make mistakes and misjudgments. In the book of 1st Peter, wives are encouraged once again to accept the authority of their husbands EVEN THOUGH those men might be unbelievers. Submission doesn’t mean that you can’t disagree. It doesn’t mean that you should follow your husband into sin. In fact, even a submissive wife could seek to change her husband so that they might be won to faith in Jesus Saint Peters ays. so that they might be won over to Jesus.

God wants every wife to have a mind of her own and to stand up and disagree when she feels led to. The book of proverbs says, “A capable wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.” Yes guys, “Submit to one another out of reverence to the Lord.” A loving husband has enough sense to listen to his wife rather than demanding her submission to a foolish plan or decision. Marriage is a partnership.

When we submit ourselves to God, he frees us to be all that we can be. Instead of taking up our time trying to “please” God and climb our way up into heaven, we submit to his forgiveness—we trust him and become vulnerable. We can’t submit to God’s Law until our hearts are changed by God’s love. You will not be able to submit to your husband until God’s love and your husband’s love changes your heart. Wives, submitting to your husband sounds scary, I mean, you know that he’s not perfect; but because you have already submitted to God you also know that you are not perfect either. Trust that God has given your husband gifts and that these gifts can be a blessing for you and for your marriage.

How might you as a woman or wife begin respecting your husband more in your marriage? I believe that there are two ways that you can make this happen. First, by telling him and showing him that you are placing your trust in him. For instance, as I mentioned before, the next time you have a decision to make, give your husband your opinion and then tell him to make the decision—make it clear that you will accept what he decides because you trust him. Wow! Can you already feel your husbands chest filling with pride? A husband needs someone to love, and by respecting him enough to trust his leadership, you are giving him the ability to show you how much he loves you.

How else might a wife submit to her husband? By letting go of some control. Many wives do everything in their households and, while it’s nice to do it the way you want to, there may be gifts that your husband has that you do not. Ask him what he’d like to do and give up that job. Don’t tell him how to do it, trust him to do it. It may be difficult at first, but imagine how much time might be freed up and how worthwhile your husband might feel.

Finally, there is a part in all of this that a husband can play. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loves the church. Pray for her. Pray for her submission. Pray that you might deserve her respect. Pray that she might trust in God and that, by trusting in God, she might trust you more. When she asks you to make a decision, trust in the strength God gives you and lead with her well-being in mind. Only by submitting to God can we all submit to one another.

I pray that all of your marriages might be blessed with mutual love and mutual submission. As we end this month’s focus on marriage, I would like to encourage all of you to continue working diligently to strengthen your relationships with one another. I am here to pray with you, to counsel you and to cheer you on and you have many saints in these pews who have great advice and a lot of experience. Your marriage is worth the time and the effort to keep it strong. Christ died for you so that all of you might know what love is and rejoice in a love that gives you freedom to submit, the courage to trust and the hope that through it all God is your fortress and strength. Amen.

Sermon for June 20th (A Husband's Love)

In Ephesians chapter 5, both the husband and the wife are called to submit to one another because they respect the Lord. What does that mean? Well, God instituted marriage in order to help us live healthy and happy lives together even though, of course, there are time when the people in those marriages don’t do a very good job of fulfilling God’s call. Most of the time in the Bible, the word submit refers to our relationship to God, we are to submit ourselves to God commands for instance; however, just because it’s the same word doesn’t mean that we are to submit to one another AS IF they were God (nobody could live up to that!), but because God instituted us to be in relationship with one another, we are called to submit to one another out of respect for how God ordered the world, including our marriages.

How does a husband submit to his wife? By loving her. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” I know that some of you have heard me say how I think that this whole Father’s Day and Mother’s Day thing is really unfair. I mean, men and women have different gifts and, let’s face it guys, we have the gift of selfishness. We can come up with all kinds of great ways to have a good time and help others show us some love. But when I ask my wife what she wants for her birthday or mother’s day or whatever she sometimes has a hard time figuring it out and (this is the really mind-boggling part) even if she CAN think of something she’ll feel bad for wanting it let alone if she actually would get it for a gift. Me, on the other hand, just ask me and I’ll tell you some things I want and if I get them—no guilt. I LIKE to make myself happy. I enjoy feeling loved. What can I say . . .it’s a gift!

How does a husband submit to his wife? By using those God given talents for love and using them to love his wife. God made men with the need to love someone. And for those of you who are married men, God blessed you with your wives.

Now guys, I don’t mean loving them the way YOU want to be loved. “Hey honey! I bought you a new grill so that you can have more hot dogs and hamburgers to go with your beer!” Uh-uh. That’s showing love, but, like I said, we men have an amazing gift to love ourselves. Guys, now be honest, if you want something, it doesn’t matter if it always makes sense. It might cost too much or take too much time, but if you got it you’d be happy. Imagine if your wife really wanted something . . . would you ask first whether it would make her happy or whether it made sense to you? Love doesn’t always make sense. We are called to love ours wives just as Jesus Christ loved the church. What does that mean?

To begin, I have to cover my rear-end with you men that are here and explain how I can have the audacity to talk about how to better love your wives on Father’s Day of all days. Today is supposed to be the one day out of the year when we men can shower the love on ourselves—no holds barred.

Today is Father’s Day and, so, it is a day to celebrate Fathers. I WANT you to be celebrated. I WANT you to be considered a good Father. And the fact is that everybody knows a good father by how he treats his wife. It’s a fact and children notice it. It’s not just how you treat your children that makes you a good father—it’s how you love your wife. If you talk about your wife in a negative manner, especially in front of other people, your children will talk to their mom that way too . . . and it will reflect on you. Men who beat their wives, either physically or verbally, raise children who do the same thing to the women in their lives. But if you treat your wife like the jewel she is, you will raise children who love their mother as much as you do. If you love your wife just as Jesus Christ loves the church, your Father’s Day celebration will become a day when people honor you with their hearts and not just their lips. I want husbands and fathers to be celebrated every day of the year (not just one) so let’s find ways of loving our wives just as Christ loves the church.

How does Christ love the church? By giving himself up for her. “Let the same mind be in you that was in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not regard equality with God as something to be exploited, but emptied himself, taking the form of a slave, he humbled himself and became obedient to the point of death—even death on a cross.” But you might say! That’s going a little over board pastor, but I’m not asking you to jump in front of a truck and get run over . . . that might actually be an easier way out that what I am encouraging you to do. Jesus had everything he could ever want (he was God after all), but he gave that all up to become human, to be vulnerable to hunger, pain, mocking, crucifixion, abandonment and death.

What change could you make in your life to love your wife? What would you have to “give up”? Does she want more of your time? More physical affection? Does she want you to forgive her for something that you’ve never been able to let go of? I’m not asking you if that’s fair . . . Jesus never asked if it was fair for him to die to take away the sins of the world—because it wasn’t fair! It’s love for goodness sake!

Paul writes in Ephesians, “Husbands should love their wives as they do their own bodies.” See, he knew men were good at loving themselves. He points out that no one hates their body, but he nourishes and tenderly cares for it. You don’t just feed yourself well one day and then forget to eat for the rest of the week. In the same way, when you love your wife, you continue to work at showing her that love not just once a week, or even once a day, but she becomes what you constantly are interested in. Love doesn’t turn back on itself and say, “But what am I getting out of all of this. Love asks the question, “What is she getting out of all of this?”

But how, you might ask. How can I show my wife love. Perhaps you’ve tried and failed . . . miserably. That’s what I’ve said Mother’s Day is all about. I often feel like Mother’s Day is an exercise in futility. No matter how much I love my mother, or my wife, I can’t seem to show them. Since we men are so good at loving ourselves, it’s tough to try and think of someone else all the time so we need a little help. There are a lot of directions you might go here, but I believe that the book, “The Five Love Languages” can be a lot of help in this area. I’m going to give you a brief synopsis here, but there are sheets that you can take home to work on this as well as a marriage retreat next week where we will be going over this in more detail.

Here’s how it goes guys. Every woman is like a cup . . . full of your favorite beverage. Use your imagination. When that cup is full, your wife is happy. When her cup is empty, aint nobody happy as the saying goes. But, not every cup is made alike and you can’t throw just anything in to fill them up. Some women feel love when you speak kindly to them or tell them how beautiful they are to you. Other women don’t care how much you tell them that (they know it already), but if they ask you to do something they want you to do it . . . and if you keep “forgetting” they won’t feel like you love them. On the other hand, you might have a wife who feels love in a completely different way. You could work your hands to the bone to support your family, tell her over and over how much you love her, but if you are always working and never at home to share your life with her, she won’t feel your love. Some of you husbands here might have the desire to love your wife, but have never figured out how to fill their cup. It’s important to show them love in the way they understand it.

The book, “The Five Love Languages” says that most people feel love in all five different ways, but usually one or two will be the most important. Through words of affirmation, acts of service, by receiving gifts, through physical touch or by getting quality time. No one way is better than any other. If you are married, take a risk and ask your wife to fill out a little survey (we’ve got a bunch of copies for you to pick up after the service) to help her tell you when and how she feels your love the most. If she won’t fill one out, take one anyway and do your best to figure it out. And when you find out how she needs to feel loved, act on that information no matter what. Not just once a week, but constantly. It might be hard and you may not be perfect at it; but if you ever figure it out, she will be loved and your marriage will be blessed.

Understand that learning to love another person is as important for husbands as it is for wives, for children and for everyone else as well. This information applies to all of you and you are all welcome to find out what you can to help you love others better. But, in marriage, God specifically tells us that a husband’s love is a key ingredient to a successful marriage. Some of you, husbands and wives, may have gone for years without receiving the love you need, or giving it, but now is another opportunity to change that. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loves the church. Because Jesus loves you, he gave himself up for you so that you could know his love. Your past mistakes are forgiven on account of what Jesus has done and you have hope for a new life, an eternal life with God forever. Trust, today, in God’s guidance for your marriage and you will have hope for a new relationship to enjoy for as long as you both shall live. Amen.

Sermon for June 13th (Faithfulness)

Temptations are a part of life. Temptations are a part of every marriage. There are a lot of beautiful people in this world and only one of them, at the most, can be your spouse. There are exciting things to do, wonderful places to go and great things to buy that you may never get to experience in the life you have, with the kids you have, with the partner you have. You may have had dreams about what marriage was supposed to be like that just have never come true or maybe were lost a long time ago. But, believe it or not, those temptations, those unmet expectations even those frustrated dreams can still be a part of a loving, healthy and faithful relationship. A Christian marriage, much like the Christian life in general, isn’t about perfection; it’s about forgiveness. A marriage isn’t built simply on excitement, but on love.

Many married couples are unhappy, aren’t they. But what makes them unhappy? Unmet expectations, feelings of rejection, lack of communication and the list goes on. But what would make these marriages happy? Some people have affairs in order to find happiness. However, there is no fleeting pleasure that can compare to the flood of guilt that follows later that night or the heartbreak that it causes to spouses, children and families. Some married people believe that leaving their marriage will make them happier and make things easier only to find that lonliness and depression, finding a new place to live and a dealing with custody battles aren’t really easy to deal with after all. Divorce is sometimes the best of two bad choices, but it is never easy and it really isn’t a “happy” experience.

You might be surprised to find out what the Bible says will bring happiness. It’s not about having the perfect spouse or the perfect life; instead, as Psalm 32 puts it, “Happy are those whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered.” For those of you who are married, or who were at one time, you know that having a “perfect” spouse would probably be pretty miserable . . . because, not being perfect yourself, you could never keep up with them! What makes a happy marriage is not the sum of the good qualities in both partners. In a happy marriage, each person can accept the bad qualities in one another and continue loving that person for who they are—worts and all.

Today’s topic is faithfulness in a marriage. This morning, I am going to empower those of you who are married with ways to stay faithful to your spouse and I will deal with how a marriage can go forward after there is infidelity.

Nobody starts their marriage with the intention of cheating on their spouse. It is usually not even a matter of intentional infidelity, but a simple issue of “drifting”. Often, an affair will start with an acquaintance with common interests or with a friendship built on “being there” for one another. Then, only as friends of course, dreams are shared, more time is spent together, they laugh together and cry together . . . and everything is so great because you don’t have to bother your spouse with these issues or take up their time. It’s nice to have someone you can share things with at work, or on the internet, who doesn’t already know all your old stories.

Then, months later, you go out for a quick bite to eat one week and invite your friend over that night without remembering to tell your spouse who had to work late. What happens next nobody ever planned, or expected, but it just feels “right” in the moment. You never meant anything to happen, there was never any such destination, but by then it is too late and you’ve drifted to another shore.

As a Christian community, we have to be diligent in helping one another stay faithful to our marriages. If you see a good friendship “drifting” into something more, gently bring up the subject with them and pray for God’s guidance in the matter. This way we can keep our friendships strong AND our marriages stronger.

Kristy and I were engaged after dating for nine months in college . . . but we weren’t married until two and a half years later. At one of my jobs, I got to be friends with another work-study student and she and I would talk for a few hours each week while we folded envelopes. I don’t know when it was that I realized that I missed her at work and thought she was pretty cute. Then the guilt started setting in. I was engaged to the woman of my dreams and yet here I had a crush on some other girl and that really bothered me.

The writer of today’s psalm knows this feeling all too well, “While I kept silence, my body wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand O God was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer.” Would Kristy be really angry with me if I told her about my crush? Would she be jealous? Was God angry with me? Would this affect Kristy’s trust in me? What happened next is very interesting, I think.

You see, I told Kristy about my crush and you know what? She said she forgave me, that everything was fine and she may have even laughed a little bit. And at that very moment, once my deep dark secret was out in the open, the crush was crushed. It was over. I couldn’t figure out what I had seen in that other girl in the first place. Confessing my temptation was all it took for me to realize what a wonderful woman I already had been blessed with in my life.

Psalm 32, “Then I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not hide my iniquity. I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,’ and you forgave the guilt of my sin.’” Of course, it is extremely important not to simply confess all things to the Lord, but to also confess to your spouse or else the temptation stays a secret and the guilt continues. How do you stay faithful in your marriage? Confess your secret sins before they become too much too bear. The faster you bring your secrets out into the open, the less power they will have over your life.

Finally, what are the options after trust has been broken, both emotionally and especially physically? Should infidelity mean immediate divorce or is there, really, any possibility of reconciliation?

In Matthew 19, Jesus answers his disciples’ questions about divorce with a concession that unfaithfulness is indeed grounds for divorce, but his concession does not change his first statement, “It was because you were so hard hearted that Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.” While all of us can understand why unfaithfulness would be reasonable grounds for breaking up a marriage, I want you all to see that it is the ONLY reasonable option. Any marriage would be shaken to its core due to infidelity, but Jesus didn’t mandate that ALL unfaithfulness should end with a divorce.

In fact, the entire book of Hosea portrays God as the kind of God who continues loving and forgiving us even when we are unfaithful. God commands the prophet Hosea to marry a prostitute and even when she leaves him again and again to be unfaithful, God demands that Hosea return to her to bring her back. Would God have the right to cast us all off for our unfaithfulness to Him? For running after other gods and other lifestyles that we find better looking from time to time? Of course he would be justified for doing that! But he is a faithful God who forgives us again and again.

Only through confession and forgiveness can any marriage survive the struggles of this life. We are called to be faithful to one another, just as God is faithful to us. And through all circumstances, we are called to forgive each other just as Christ has forgiven us. Just as the woman in the story with Jesus could show great love because of the great forgiveness shown her, the more possible your forgiveness can be for your spouse when you realize the mercy shown to you through the death of Jesus on the cross.

God is faithful to you no matter what the cost because his relationship with you is not something he can separate himself from. It is my hope and my prayer that God will give you all the strength to be faithful to one another, and to forgive one another in all circumstances, so that your marriages might reflect the love God has shown you. No matter how much your marriage may be struggling right now, trust in God’s power to redeem. Seek help together and confess your secrets to one another. Forgive just as you have been forgiven. God is mighty to save both you and your marriage. He is faithful and He will do it. Amen.

Sermon for June 6th (The Loss of a Dream)

In the movie What Dreams May Come, a family is torn apart through three tragic accidents. First, a couples’ two children, a teenage boy and a young girl, are killed in a car accident. Then, the husband, a doctor, is also killed when he is hit by a car. Finally, the woman commits suicide. The movie begins when this man and woman found each other and realized that they were “soul mates” as the show calls it. Their lives seemed perfect, like a dream. But then suddenly, they lost their dream and it all came tumbling down.

The movie continues in heaven where the husband awaits his wife. However, he finds out that she is somewhere else. He decides to go after her and bring her back with him to heaven. But, when he gets to where she is, he realizes that the depth of her despair is so immense that she cannot leave . . . in fact, she will not. She has lost all her hope and all her dreams. She lost her children, she lost her husband . . . she lost all that was dear to her in her life. She can’t imagine that she could know joy again. And so her husband must make a decision. If he stays, he will lose his mind as well and enter into everlasting despair with her or, he can go back to heaven, but without her. He decides to stay.

The ending of the movie is a surprise when we see both the husband and the wife together again in this so called heaven. The husband asks his wife what happened because he had decided to stay with her in that miserable place forever. She explains that everything changed when she realized that he would join her there. When she realized that he would give up everything to be with her in her despair. She said the difference came when he was willing to share the pain with her forever.

In a marriage, there are times of great struggle, but none might be as great as losing our hopes and dreams, especially when those hopes and dreams are wrapped up in a child. Sometimes it happens in an instant, when a child’s life is put out through a freak accident that nobody sees coming. At other times, a child dies because of a lingering disease, much too soon, before they ever really grow up. There is a deep sense of loss when a child dies through miscarriage and the nursery lies waiting but empty. And there is a sense of emptiness when hopes for a child are frustrated through impotency or infertility. This morning, I want to talk about two things: first, how can husbands and wives love one another best when struggling through a loss of this kind and how can we support marriages that are dealing with these losses. Second, what can God do for us when we are struggling with the loss of a child.

In the movie, the woman explained that she could only find her way out of despair was when her husband decided to join her there. In a marriage or in any close relationship, there can be times when one partner feels a loss much more strongly than the other and it can feel like a very solitary place to be. You want to be able to “just get on with life”, but depression keeps setting in. Everybody else is moving on but you just cannot. If the one closest to you, the one who you believe should be hurting as much as you, seems to be able to survive, it can make you not only feel worse but, in a way, it can cause you to want to stay in the despair even longer just so you won’t forget—almost like if you moved on it would be as if the loss wasn’t important or wasn’t real after all.

Ironically, however, while the one who is depressed appears, in the eyes of society, to be weak and struggling, it is often those who seem to be “getting on with life” who are really suffering. If you have experienced the loss of a child, it takes a great deal of courage to “give up to the pain” and risk losing one’s self with your partner, but taking this risk can create a stronger bond even in the midst of the greatest despair. Then, instead of one of you pulling the other “out”, you can lift one another up. Sometimes, for the sake of a relationship, we have to be willing to “lose ourselves” in order to gain the one we care for the most. Jesus put it this way when talking about our relationship with God, “For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake, and for the sake of the gospel, will save it.”

Sharing the pain of a loss applies just as much to those who are on the outside looking in. When you see a couple struggling after a miscarriage, after the death of a child, or when you know a couple is fighting through infertility, it is important not to try and “fix” things by talking about how everything will be better eventually; instead, giving people the freedom to feel sad with someone can be the greatest gift of all.

Do you know the story of Job who lost his entire family and all his property, even his health? In that story, he had three friends “who came and sat with him on the ground for seven days and seven nights and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his suffering was very great.” If the story had ended there, they would have probably been seen in a much better light; instead, they started giving their opinions and, today, we criticize their answers. Why? Because there is really no good answer to why bad things happen to beautiful babies, or why children die, or why wonderful would-be mothers cannot seem to get pregnant. Sometimes the best response we can give to death is to share our grief together with others.

On internship, I was asked by a older couple about their little girl who died when she was two. They came to me, so many years later, because she had died but was not baptized. They not only lost their child, but they lived in fear of having somehow not given her the chance at eternal life. It is in the midst of this kind of loss where we find out what God can do for us in our struggles.

In two of the texts for today, a child has died and, by the power of God, they are both brought back to life. Of course, you might ask: why some and not others? Or, as Mary and Martha both cried out to Jesus when their brother Lazarus died, “If you had been here Lord, he would not have died!” Where is God when a child dies!? How could he allow it to happen at all!? The truth is hard to hear: God was right there when it happened, holding your child in his loving arms. He is right there through every infertility treatment. He has never let you go. That’s the truth, but it’s not easy to understand.

However, because we know that God is right there, there is also the possibility of hope. A spark of light in the darkness of over forty years of guilt for a couple thinking back to why they hadn’t taken the time to bless their child with God’s promise of eternal life. If God is right there, when a child dies, when dreams are dashed, when hopes are lost, he also has the power to give life where none of us dared to believe life could exist. Jesus says, “Nothing in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” We trust the lives of our little babies into the merciful hands of a Savior who is mighty to save even in the midst of things we have done or left undone.

We are called to join with those who are struggling and hurting in their marriages from loss, but Jesus Christ already knows what it is like to join in that suffering. He died on the cross for you so that he might know your pain and sorrow during the loss of a child, the loss of a dream and the loss of hope. He did not promise us a life free of suffering, but that one day our suffering would turn to joy in eternal life. If you have come today never having heard this great promise, I encourage you to talk with me or with someone else here this morning about building upon the relationship Jesus already has begun with you. Perhaps you have never been baptized and don’t know what all the fuss is about. You may have experienced the loss of your dreams alone. Through faith in Jesus and the promise of baptism, you will receive both a community and a Savior. When death comes, you don’t want to look at what you have done or left undone; hearing God’s promise gives you something, or rather, someone to believe in.

Finally, if your heart hangs heavy from the loss of a child or the loss of a dream, I encourage you to rest in the arms of God who weeps with you and has joined you in your sorrow. He will not let you go and he never has. Through all the storms of life, he has never left your side. You may trust your life, your marriage, your family and your children to his love and in his power to save. One day, after the pain of this life is over, you will see the glory of a God who has never lost a sheep in his fold and, I pray, that when that time comes, you may find yourself able to praise him again knowing that, though there is much loss in this life, there is also a sure and certain hope for resurrection because of Jesus Christ. God’s only son died on a cross, but because He lives again, we can hope in His love and His power to save. Amen.