Sermon for July 4th (Relating with Children)

When my kiddos were a little smaller, I would ask them what they wanted for breakfast and they would always ask for poptarts. Always. Now, normally they are healthy eaters and enjoy broccoli, Kale soup, whole wheat pasta and so on. But if you ask them what they want to eat in the mornings, they would choose poptarts.

It is important to me and my wife to feed our children good, healthy food so that they can grow up strong and lead healthy lives. In fact, it is so important to me that even though I want to make them happy and feed them poptarts, I choose not to because I love them. But it’s not only that I won’t let them, my intention is to TEACH them to make these healthy choices themselves. I won’t be around forever nor will they always live in my household. So we talk about the food we eat and what is healthy and what is not.

Do you know what the most common complaint is that I hear from parents for why their children are not at church, or in confirmation, or at a high school event? They didn’t want to come. The kids . . . they didn’t want to wake up or they had something else to do. Maybe they think church is boring, or they are tired, or they just don’t really care. Well, does this surprise you? Not me. I bet your kids like to eat pop tarts for breakfast too just like mine!

While we as parents know enough not to let our kids eat unhealthy food we allow our children all too often to make unhealthy choices when it comes to their faith lives. Yes, oatmeal is boring to some people and so are vegetables, yes you have to wake up to go to school today, yes, you are going to visit your sick grandmother today and, yes, I love you enough to take you to church with me today. Eating vegetables and fruits will encourage your body’s health and mental stability and that’s just great. But a relationship with Jesus Christ will give you meaning in your life, a source of support doing times of despair and, oh yeah, the promise of eternal life with the author of all creation. The forgiveness of sins. Deliverance from bondage. Are your children worth it? I believe that they are.

Rich Melheim wrote an article about teaching faith to children that began with the following story: “During the siege of Leningrad, the city elders had a difficult decision to make. The Nazi’s had cut off most supply routes to the city. The few remaining truck routes across the frozen lake were bombed daily. It became clear that there was only one-third enough wheat to get them through the winter. What would they do? Cordon off two-thirds of the city and feed only one-third? They couldn’t bear to make that decision. Instead, they mixed their bread with one third wheat, one third saw dust, and one third manure. That winter tens of thousands of children went to bed every night starving to death on a full stomach.”

Parents will give their children something to eat, whether it is pop tarts, pancakes or sawdust. Parents will also teach their children faith in something, whether it is faith in the Jesus, the tooth fairy or Oprah. What is the biblical model of parenthood? And how can we, as a church, supply parents with a cupboard full of healthy food for faith instead of religious poptarts.

The great commandment in both the Jewish and Christian faiths is given in Deuteronomy chapter 6. It is called the Shema, which is the Hebrew word for “hear”. “Hear, O Israel, The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your might. Keep these words that I am commanding you today in your heart. Recite them to your children and talk about them when you are at home and when you are away, when you lie down and when you rise. Bind them as a sign on your hand, fix them as an emblem on your forehead, and write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” Notice how God gives this great commandment not just for you but for your children.

There are three parts that the Bible sees as important in your faith relationship with your children. First, your personal faith. Second, teaching your faith to your children. Third, encouraging your children to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

Jesus said, “Where your treasure is, there is your heart also.” You teach your children what is most important to you—you can’t help yourself. And if something is not important to you, no matter how much you give that subject lip service, your children will see right through you. I’ve heard it said that children will eat whatever their father eats. Mom can feed everyone salad if she likes, but, “If Daddy’s not eating it why do I have to?” It’s true about faith too.

In 1994 the Swiss carried out a survey to determine how a person’s religion carried through to the next generation. Their findings? If both father and mother attend regularly, 33 percent of their children will end up as regular churchgoers, and 41 percent will end up attending irregularly. In other words, 75% will attend in some way with only a quarter not practicing at all. If the mother attends regularly, but the father is irregular, only 3 percent of the children will become regulars themselves (that’s a loss of 30% when dad doesn’t come very often.) An additional 13% is also added in the lost category after just that little change. Here’s the scary part, if the father never comes and mother comes regularly, only 2 percent of children will become regular worshippers. Over 60 percent of their children will be lost completely to the church. In other words, Dads—the importance you place on your faith matters . . . a lot.

But for all of you parents, it’s about much more than just church attendance. In order to better relate to your children, you need to work on your own relationship to God. When you pray for guidance or for strength when your children are acting like maniacs, it can help you better handle the stress. A strong marriage gives children a sense of security at home, and a strong faith gives them a sense of security throughout life as well. You cannot simply feed your children without taking in nourishment yourself. Taking care of your relationship with God is of the utmost importance; that’s why God started the great commandment with your faith—not simply your children’s faith.

We’ve talked about prayer before, but I encourage you all to try it on a daily basis to build your relationship to God. Just tell him what’s going on to start and feel free to ask for what you need. Bible Study with a group of friends, either in your home or at church, is also a great way to build your knowledge of God’s laws and his promises. Finally, involving yourself with the ministries at church gives you an outlet to serve others which gives meaning and purpose to your life.

But even if you have a strong faith yourself, you need to teach the faith to your children. But how? Rich Melheim, the author that I quoted from earlier, came up with a five-step program for bringing faith into every house every night. SHARE, READ, TALK, PRAY AND BLESS. Share. Share highs and lows of the day together. Read. Read a verse or passage from scripture to bring God into the equation. Talk. How might that scripture relate to your day? Does the reading bring up any questions for the kids? Pray. Pray for one another’s highs and lows. Bless. Bless one another before turning out the lights. What is a blessing? After I had had a really bad day, my dad would tell me, “God loves you, I love you and the sun will come up tomorrow.” That’s a blessing.

SHARE, READ, TALK, PRAY AND BLESS. By doing these 5 faith practices each day you are teaching your children not only about your faith, but how to incorporate faith into their daily lives. In the great commandment from Deuteronomy, God DIDN’T say, “Impress these commandments on your children: go to church every week.” No, that’s not enough. It’s important, but it’s not even the most important. God said to talk about your faith when you are sitting at home and when you are traveling, when you are going to sleep and when you are waking up. Making faith a part of your everyday life teaches your children to make it a part of their’s so that, when they leave the home, they know how to nourish the faith you’ve given them.

You’ve heard the old saying, “If you give a man to fish, he’ll eat for a day. If you teach a man to fish, he’ll eat for a lifetime.” I believe that we have been reasonably good at giving our children fish, we’ve brought them to church, Sunday school, Bible school, confirmation and luther league. But, we may have a lot of work to still do at TEACHING our children to fish. Have you talked about your struggles with getting to church on Sunday mornings? Have you shared what you love about worship and asked them what they love? Teach them to pray or learn with them. What might happen if you let your child have a bunch of friends over, and taught them, and even their parents, how to have a short Bible study? When they went off to college, they might already know how to do it.

Finally, Jesus said, let the little children come to me. We need to encourage our children, not just to follow us and talk the talk of faith—to learn the jargon—but to experience the power of the Holy Spirit in their lives. For instance, find out what makes your child passionate and connect that passion to one of the ministries here at Emmanuel. Help them to see that you can have fun, worship God and serve others at the same time. Are they musical? What about having them become a part of the praise band? Are they good with people? They could be a greeter or join hospitality? Are they are born leader? Anyone who is confirmed is qualified to be on the church council?

Why is this important? Getting involved gets you focused on serving other people, not simply on getting fed yourself. Taking a risk makes you rely on God, and when we start seeking Jesus for help, he comes and strengthens us in our time of need. Ask your children how they would want to get involved in the church, however big or little the job, and let’s all, as a community find a way to make it happen. Let’s make room to allow them to use their gifts. When we learn to give away the ministry to our children, we encourage them to take responsibility for their faith throughout their entire life. Poptarts are tasty, yes indeed they are, but Jesus Christ is the bread of life. Let’s pray to God for his help as we seek to give life to our children . . .