Sermon for January 15th (Husbands and Wives)

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.  Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.”  Men--Husbands, if your wife followed that advice from God would you be able to live up to that responsibility?  Do you believe that you deserve that type of respect?  Are you worth submitting to?  “Wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”  That’s what scripture says.  Are you prepared for that guys?  To be the leader of your family not just when it comes to what TV show to watch or how to fix the car, but in teaching your child about Jesus and strengthening your marriage?  Because if you are not ready and not willing to lead, don’t expect your wife to follow. 

This is a picture of Lee Haney.  He won eight Mr. Olympia contests from 1984 through 1991 beating Arnold Swarzenneger’s record of seven wins in this most prestigious bodybuilding event.  Lee Haney also happens to be a born-again Christian.  Bodybuilding is a very difficult sport to succeed in let alone win.   Probably the only thing it seems that bodybuilders do more than lift weights is look in the mirror.  You can’t just “like” your body as a bodybuilder—you’ve got to LOVE the way your body works and looks.  Lee Haney didn’t just happen to win Mr. Olympia a record eight times because he was talented.  No.  He loved his body. 

In the letter to the Ephesians, Saint Paul says this, “Husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.”  I’ll tell you what.  I bet that scripture passage means something very important to Lee Haney as a Christian.  In fact, if he takes it half as seriously as the rest of us, his wife is probably the luckiest woman on this earth. 

God gave men the tendency to be very driven, goal oriented and one-track minded.  This kind of trained focus is what allows people like Lee Haney to create a masterpiece of muscle that baffles the mind.  Ephesians says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her”.  Jesus Christ himself had this same masculine ability to focus intently on a goal and accomplish it.  Men, what is your focus? 

Wives often complain that they miss how their husbands acted when they were dating, when their guy seemed to be willing to do anything to make them happy.  The thing is that men still love their wives when they get married, it’s just that they often become focused on other things: work, kids or making ends meet.  For a goal-oriented guy, it is easy to think that marrying the girl of your dreams is the goal to be accomplished—then what’s next?  Buying a house?  Paying off the mortgage?  Sending the kids to college?

In his book, EntreLeadership, Dave Ramsey talks about seeing a guy at a Tennessee Titans football game about ten rows ahead of him painted completely blue.  He says that he was obviously intense about Titans football, “but I couldn’t help thinking, Is this guy that intense about his career, about his marriage, about his kids, or even about his health?  Don’t be intense about the wrong things.  I want to make sure I am intense and focused when working on things that matter.  If I am willing to lose my voice yelling for someone else to be successful on the football field, I should be serving in my leadership role with great intensity.  I should be engaged in conversation with my wife of thirty years with even more intensity than when we were dating.  I should pursue friendships and my spiritual walk with fervor.  I should be passionate about work that matters.” 

The book, “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus” says that women like to be adored while men like to be admired.  Sounds a lot like what Ephesians says, “Husbands, love your wives.  Wives, respect your husbands.”  Men and women need different things.    

I don’t know a woman on this planet who doesn’t want to be the focus of her husband.  Guys, if you can become passionately intense about your marriage and focus on your wife, she will be able to follow you, to submit to your leadership, because she’ll trust that you have her best interests at heart. 

                I also don’t know a man who doesn’t love to be trusted and admired.  To be considered a leader and hero for his wife and family.  Even at NFL games, there are cheerleaders.  Doesn’t seem very necessary, but guys love cheerleaders.  Guys especially like to be cheered on by their wives.  To be respected and trusted; built up and honored in private and in public.  For a man, there is nothing more attractive than a woman who admires him.  Women, if you want your husband to lead, make sure he knows how much your admire and respect him.

                Marriages that fall apart tend to slip down the same spiral in a common way: men stop paying attention to their wives and women stop relying on their husbands.  Guys focus on other things and their wives take on more and more responsibility which leads to guys focus on other things and their wives taking on more responsibility.  But it is just as easy to build up a marriage in the same way.  Men, focus on loving your wife and concentrating on what makes her happy-paint yourself blue for her!  Wives, respect and admire your husbands—be his biggest cheerleader!  Marriage is hard work, but it is a challenge worth fighting for.  Amen.