Sermon for January 29th (Parenting)

            There are a lot of books out there about raising children, being a better parent and becoming a happy family.  There's Parenting Magazine, Mothering Magazine and Family Fun to show you how to make your children smarter and how to encourage them to eat all of their vegetables.  If you want to throw a birthday party, you can get on the internet and find all the ideas you could ever need to make an amazing event that will make your two-year-old the envy of the entire playgroup.  But there's always another book, a new technique, more product recalls and a different article telling you how you failed at parenting once again.  Society would make you believe that if you just learned the newest parenting technique your dysfunctional home would become happy.  Your wife would be calm.  Your husband would be engaged and the kids would all be quiet.  The Bible also has something to say about parenting and the family.  Two messages that the world doesn't seem to talk much about: truth and forgiveness.        I want you to look at two sets of values- set A and set B.  First I want to ask you which set characterizes the values of Jesus Christ and his true disciples?  Competence or love?  Power or Communication?  Efficiency or Beauty?  Achievement or Relationships?  Now I want you to ask yourselves which set characterizes the values of a perfect family?  Skills or Support?  Proving oneself or Helping?  Results or Nurturing?  Accomplishment or Feelings?  These sets are from the best-selling book Men are From Mars, Women Are From Venus and set A represents values common among Men, while set B represents the values common among women.  Interesting isn't it?  According to the book, "How Women Help Men Find God" 90% of people will say that Jesus Christ and his true disciples should fit the values of set B - normally considered feminine values.  Even though Jesus was a man with 12 other male disciples--most of them fishermen.  Family values also seem to be accepted as feminine values.  Is it any wonder why faith and family issues are often seen as "women's territory" and men don't feel as capable, or responsible, for dealing with them?  But, if families are to be strong, we need to value not just loving cooperation, but success.  Not just community, but self-sufficiency.  Mothers and Fathers leading the charge together.  And I believe that's exactly what the Bible teaches.

            Do we see Jesus talk a lot about communicating better with our children?  About nurturing them and their self-esteem?  Not really.  In fact, the rest of the Bible really doesn't talk like that either.  The values in set B are important in the Bible, just not MORE important than those in set A.  Remember, God created man and women for partnership and biblical values reflect that often much better than society does when it comes to parenting.

            In the book of Joshua, the Israelite leader, Joshua, made it clear that God's people all had a choice to make for their families: follow other gods or follow the one true God.  He led by example saying, "As for me and my household, we will serve the Lord." 

            Do you notice how UNlike the normal message to families this is?  When you watch commercials selling a product, do you ever notice that they offer a "moneyback guarantee"?  Magazines encourage us to "try out new ways of discipline to see if they work--we can always go back to other ways.  Joshua, on the other hand, tells the families he leads that they must make a choice.  He tells them, "Now fear the Lord, serve him with all faithfulness.  Throw away the gods your forefathers worshipped."  There's no money back guarantee.  It's a choice and Joshua acknowledges that he values each family's self-sufficiency.  He explains, "But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve."  The normal message to families is this: You might be missing out of something.  The biblical message is this: You will be missing out on some things to follow God.  Decide whether you can accept that.

            Notice something.  Joshua isn't getting a support group organized to discuss how the Israelites feel about this.  He isn't asking for their opinions or even helping them make their choice.  He respects their competence as adults.  He acknowledges the power they have to make this choice.  And it is an important choice to say the least.  They can choose to worship God or not.  But their choice will affect their families for generations.

            Most people think that life is like driving a car.  Making good choices is like sticking it in drive and coming closer to God.  Making bad choices is putting it in reverse.  And we think that, most of the time, we're in neutral--we just haven't decided yet.  We're Christians, we just don't go to church.  You know--neutral.

            Life is a lot more like a river and you're in a canoe.  You are either going with the flow toward a waterfall--and the rocks below--or you are paddling against the current--there is no neutral in a canoe.  When the rapids of life are rolling, you have to work hard just to stay where you are.  As a family, following Jesus Christ means a life of hard work, paddling like crazy against the currents of temptation and destruction within this society.  Here's the thing for parents to know: you have the paddles, but your family is in the boat.  Will you keep paddling or just go downstream and take your chances with the rocks?  It might not sound motivational, but that's the truth. 

            The church also offers forgiveness.  You may think your family is too far gone.  That you've made far too many mistakes.  That you should just give up and enjoy the ride down the waterfall.  Jesus says, "You have sinned and your family has suffered for it.  But hear this: Your sins are forgiven.  Not by Oprah or your therapist, but by the only one who has the authority to forgive sins: God himself."  Trust in Jesus Christ to lead you and stand by your side.  Trust in Jesus Christ to give you the power to stand up for your faith.  Jesus has chosen you, warts and all, so that you can make a choice for your family--to paddle upstream against the currents of the world. 

            Joshua knew that the only way for a family to follow God is to give parents the choice to lead or to choose not to.  At the end of the day, the households of Israelites couldn't rely on Joshua to be there for the everyday battles.  They had to decide to fight for their faith or not to.  The Bible says that the most important choice parents have to make isn't whether to breastfeed or not, to go to McDonalds or not, to spank or not.  It's this: Are you a household of faith or not.  When you go home today--decide.

            As parents, we have all failed, that's the truth.  Jesus forgives you--that's also the truth.  Now, you have a new opportunity for a different future.  Christian families must be ready to paddle toward Jesus.  To be able to stand up and say for themselves, "I don't care what my parents did.  I'm not simply going to follow my friends.  I'm leading my family to a future that has a future.  As for me and my household, we will serve the Lord."